How to break bad news like a boss At dawn the telephone rings, ""Hello, Senor Kent? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."" ""Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"" ""Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Kent, that your parrot, he is dead"". ""My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"" ""Si, Senor, that's the one."" ""Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"" ""From eating the rotten mea…

Three women- a blond, a brunette, and a red head, are all about to be executed by ISIS The red head was up first. Right before she was going to be executed she yelled, ""TORNADO!"" All of the ISIS members took cover and she escaped. The brunette was the next in line. She followed in the red-head's footprints and this time screamed ""SANDSTORM!"" The gullible ISIS members again ducked for cover while she escaped. The blonde thought to herself, ""This is going to be easy. These people are idiots."…

Two converts set off to go join ISIS... Hasan and Hussein set off to go join ISIS. Hasan flew to Istanbul first class, but Hussein was on the no fly list and had to stow away on an empty oil tanker. But Hasan gifted Hussein a heavy backpack of food and cigarettes to make the trip more bearable. But when they got to Syria, the ISIS folks found those cigarettes in the backpack and brought them both to a high tower in Raqqa. The judge said, ""Hussein, you're pardoned. But Hasan, we throw you off th…

ISIS Comic Did you hear about the ISIS comic? He bombed.