Istanbul Jokes

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul. Nobody got it.

Have you ever been to an Istanbul nightclub? I hear they're poppin' and a good place to get wasted!

I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too. I'll leave now.

Two converts set off to go join ISIS... Hasan and Hussein set off to go join ISIS. Hasan flew to Istanbul first class, but Hussein was on the no fly list and had to stow away on an empty oil tanker. But Hasan gifted Hussein a heavy backpack of food and cigarettes to make the trip more bearable. But when they got to Syria, the ISIS folks found those cigarettes in the backpack and brought them both to a high tower in Raqqa. The judge said, ""Hussein, you're pardoned. But Hasan, we throw you off th…

Putin's message to tourists: Visit Istanbul While he still exists...

I hear it's snowing steadily in Istanbul... In fact, in Istanbul they can't stop the snowplow

I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris. But it turns out that idea was taken. Then I had another idea where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul

I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul

I had an idea for a movie plot. A retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.

Why do people from Istanbul always swim? Because they're constant in a pool.

Love and Romance: 6 weeks: I love U, I love U, I love U 6 months: Of course I love U 6 years: GOD, if I didn’t love U, then why the hell did I propose? Back from Work: 6 weeks: Honey, I’m home 6 months: BACK!! 6 years: What did your mom cook for us today? Gifts: 6 weeks: Honey, I really hope you liked the ring. 6 months: I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living Room. 6 years: Here’s the money. Buy yourself something. Phone Ringing: 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the ph…