"Daddy, I want to watch Dora." Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets

Dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, Tweet like the NSA doesn't exist.

Mitt Romney has decided not to run for president. In other news, I have decided not to become a billionaire or play in the NBA.

The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls.