Chicago Jokes

They really grow them big in Texas A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new ""city"" outfit.

So a man from Chicago goes on vacation… A man from Chicago goes on vacation to Florida for the winter

It was so quiet in Chicago during the last inning. You could hear the gunshots.

Ok Chicago please be responsible. If the game doesn't go your way tonight...

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell. As punishment for his many sins

What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common? They both shred footage.

What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common? The amount of lead put into black people.

So a guy named Mike applies to join a Chicago police department. ""The first test is to lift a bag that is the size of a human and carry it to safety out of a building."

My Grandpa's favorite ""dumb blonde"" joke. A blonde is on an airplane to Chicago and gets up from her seat in coach and goes into the first class cabin and sits down.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago another is from Tennessee

Planting potatoes in Chicago So there's this old Pakistani man who lives alone in Chicago. One day he sends an e-mail to his son Ahmad :

What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common? They both shred footage. (*be gentle, it's my first time.*)

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?","Call Baltimore M.D.

Free shipping?,"I walked into an airport with two bags: ""I want this one to go to Chicago, and this one to go to Paris."" ""Sir you can't do that."" ""Why not? It happened the last time.""

What's the difference between white socks and red socks?,"(Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, ""yes that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!

Who wins in a fight?,"Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton? Does Donald Trump get the media? No. He still wins. When reading thing about the SNL skit about Chicago super fans and Mike Ditka

What Did Delaware? -She wore her New Jersey! Why did California? -She called to ask Hawaii. Where did Chicago? -The same place Oregon Where has Oregon? I don't know but Alaska. She said she went to pay her Texas. What did Missisip? She sipped a Minnesota. What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas How did Wisconsin? He robbed an Oklahoma using a Kentucky.

Why is Chicago called the Windy City? Because Indiana sucks and Wisconsin blows

What is Kim Kardashian's favorite hockey team? The Chicago Blackhawks

How long is the flight? A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.? Call Baltimore, M.D.

Why don't you want to hang out with a dude from Chicago? Because 'Illinois you!

Free shipping? I walked into an airport with two bags: "I want this one to go to Chicago, and this one to go to Paris." "Sir, you can't do that." "Why not? It happened the last time."

What's the difference between white socks and red socks? (Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!

What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common? The amount of lead put into black people. (It was funnier over the radio)