Technology Jokes

folks we use a Mouse to browse a web. what are we on the internet or in a barnyard here. cmon damnit.

Sorry Windows. The only thing a "strong" password will do is lock me out of my own computer when drunk. 1234 it is.

Daughter: Dad, you need a smart phone. Me: Will it make my dinner? D: No but- M: Good talk.

A cop pulled me over because he thought I was talking on a cell phone but really I was just rubbing a slice of pizza on the side of my face

The Wifi and the deodorant of the person sitting next to me on this flight did not work :(

Just saw a 13 year old kid reading an actual newspaper. I stopped and asked of he was okay, and if he'd lost his phone.

Saw a phone booth. Hopped in. Came out. Didn't become Superman. Now it just looks like I was hiding while that lady was getting mugged.

"Phone Call to My Dad" feat. My Mom Yelling Things at Me in the Background

Ordered ribs so I'd have to put my phone down. Discovered new talent. Pinky scroll

They say kill 'em with kindness but it's much quicker if you just take their phone charger away.

I left my phone at home and had no idea what to do with my hands while I drove

Whenever someone starts checking their phone when I'm talking to them I like to regain their attention by combing their hair

*checks pockets for phone 53 times before jumping in pool* *skinny dips to be on the safe side*

I made fun of a guy for still having a Nokia phone. He threw it at me and knocked me unconscious.

When my wife says "I don't want to talk about it" that's woman code for you better put your life on hold for 2 hours & find out what "It" is

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code.

Having an Internet girlfriend is easier than having a real girlfriend because I don't have to suck my gut in.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

"Installing this app on a smartphone or tablet will mean everyone in the house can easily adjust the thermostat." Dads in unison: "Nooooo!"

Some people follow their dreams, I follow lunatics on the internet.

My Phone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" and I sent it anyways

HEY DUMMIES WHEN YOU SHAZAM A SONG YOU DONT HAVE TO HOLD THE PHONE UP BECAUSE ITS JUST A SONG AND SOUND GOES EVERYWHERE.

I'm not gullible but she said I was the best she's ever had and then to wait by the phone for instructions on how to get my wallet back.

Dear Internet, Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist. Jeez!

Woke up to 5:15am phone reminder telling me I need to set my alarm for 8am. Thanks last night drunk self. This is why we don't have friends.