Starbucks Jokes

I accidentally called it an eternity scarf instead of an infinity scarf and now I have to drink my Starbucks outside.

If you're in Los Angeles and lost your wallet near the Starbucks on Melrose I found your wallet but not the $58 inside it.

"So you spend 6 bucks on a beverage that has no booze in it on purpose?" -me to everyone at Starbucks.

Starbucks bathrooms are EXCLUSIVELY for terrible diarrhea, right?

Starbucks? Yes I'd like a tepid mug of milk froth please. My name's Adam, but you can call me Aldin.

One time I got stuck holding a Starbucks door open from 2005-2007.

"What's your name?" "I am Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi to Drogo's riders-" *Starbucks barista quits on the spot*

This guy clicking his pen in Starbucks just got stabbed when I stabbed him.

Me: Hey lady, you can't park there. Her: I'm just running into Starbucks. Me: Oh shit, my bad. Laws don't apply to you then.

Starbucks job interview: "What's your name?" "Alyssa" "Spell that please" "L A R I S S A" "When can you start?"

What, I'm Asian? *slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*

The girl at Starbucks wrote my name as "Meghen" like I lay eggs or some shit.

Got kicked outta Starbucks for trying to order a venti mocha choca latta ya-ya creole lady marmalaaaaaaaaade.

Hi, welcome to Starbucks! How can we spell your name incorrectly today?

"Name?" queries the Starbucks barista. The almighty feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl only sighs.

[Starbucks] "Yes, I'd like a venti skinny soy half-sweet one-pump caramel macchiato half-caff extra whip, please." Barista: Is Pepsi ok?

"will..." *Starbucks barista squints at name on cup* "... the Red Slime Shoddy please stand up?" *Eminem flips table and storms out*

So when a cat pounces on a stranger's lap and demands tickles it's "cute" but when I do it I'm "causing trouble in Starbucks" again. Jeez!

The best part about pooping with the door open in the morning is being able to see everyone's face at Starbucks.

Said "large" today at Starbucks, and everyone starting chanting "Venti, Venti, Venti!" and a mass suicide occurred.

I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.

Starbucks, where 11 members of staff frantically do things behind the counter, yet not one of these things appears to resemble a hot drink

Starbucks this morning looks like a scene from "The Walking Dead."

Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn't give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks.

If you say "Starbucks" in the mirror 3 times, a girl in yoga pants will appear, steal your hoodie and tell you the best things about Fall.