Starbucks Jokes

PRO TIP: Using a Starbucks cup to ask for change makes me think I'm worse off than you

*at Starbucks* "Ya I'll have the medium roast please" *Barista insults him a lot but not too much*

"if i die young bury in me in starbucks lay me down on a bed of coffee beans" the white girl writes in her will

*nervously adjusts fedora in Starbucks lineup I'll have uh, um, a mediu- I mean vanti, uh, mochacachito? Patrons: HE'S A FRAUD! GET HIM!!!

I never wanted to hug someone as badly as the little old man who just ordered a "small coffee flavored coffee" in Starbucks.

This line for the bathroom at Starbucks is longer than kim kardashians whole marriage.

Imagine a guy named Kyle walking into Starbucks. You're a racist.

How to be a white girl: 1.) Get a frappuccino from Starbucks 2.) take a picture drinking it 3.) Instagram it 4.) hash tag 'summerrrrrrrrr'

FYI fellas: if u wake up with some chick and u can't remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They'll write her name on the cup for ya!

My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.

In a parallel universe somewhere, all the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are getting really excited for White Girl season at Starbucks.

McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know

I'm pretty sure the rule at Starbucks is the slowest employee makes the drinks

Just told the Starbucks at the airport that my name was Ayatollah Bombface. Lol let's see wha

"Vini Vidi Venti" --I came, I saw, I ordered the large coffee at Starbucks.

Starbucks puts the fee in coffee

Missed connection. You cut in front of me at Starbucks in May, 2009. I finally thought up a witty response.

Sitting here at Starbucks, everyone looking at their phones and only one person's noticed mine's a calculator.

Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn't think of this.

Pretty soon Starbucks will stop being coy and offer to just shove a pumpkin & a fistful of nutmeg in your ass for $20.

Ugh Starbucks spelled my name right again and now I have nothing to Instagram.

Pro tip: If you forget their name after a one night stand, just take them to Starbucks in the morning.

Calm down girls, it's Starbucks. They sell coffee, not unicorn blood.

[Starbucks] What can I get you? I'll have a large coffee, black "You don't have to say black" I'll have a large coffee, African American

[in Starbucks] "It's Ian with one i". "We only need your first name Mr Wivwanaye".