Starbucks Jokes

Starbucks drive through This just happened during a family road trip when we stopped at a Starbucks drive through. While waiting for our drinks with the window open my mother said ""ooh it's really cold in hear with the window open."" My dad replied ""well I can't think of any other way of getting the coffee in here."" I thought it was very funny so decided to share.

I like my Starbucks like I like my slaves Free

A few days ago I went to a zoo and the only animal they had was a dog, so I left and went to Starbucks for a coffee... It was a shit coffee

So a woman goes to the doctor because her husband has lost his libido. Woman: We haven't made love in over 6 months, and I have needs! Doctor: No problem, I have the perfect medication for him. Just take one of these little red pills, crush it up and put it in his coffee, and let me know how it goes. Three days later the doctor receives a phone call. Woman: Doctor, I did exactly what you asked, and I have good news and bad news. Doctor: What's the good news? Woman: The pill worked perfectly. I c…

I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake..... I said to the man ""wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot""

The Starbucks in my town just hired a Jewish barista... He brews.

The 7 Deadly Rules/Sins For Hipster #1. Be fashionable... Never! Never leave your house without red lipstick on (advice for women) or beard (for men). #2. Starbucks is your best friend now! Quit your lactose intolerance as fast as possible! Who cares about your health, just drink your chai tea latte and be cool! #3. Instagram: take a picture of your salad before the person next to you does! You need more followers who gonna support you when your hairdresser dyes your hair a wrong colour! #4. I k…

If a white girl goes to starbucks and doesn't post a picture on instagram, did she really go to starbucks at all?

Starbucks can't be racist. Almost every drink they serve is black or mixed.

What do birds order when they go to Starbucks? Flappaccinos.

I picked up painting, and I really feel that I was born in the wrong age. People just don't appreciate my paintings! They're like Matt, can't you just use your camera phone to take a bathroom selfie like everyone else, for christsakes we're at a Starbucks.

How do you know when a white girl recently visited her friends grave? There's Starbucks next to the headstone.

What do you call 2 White Girls + A Starbucks? Basic Math

Why do teenage girls hangout in odd-sized groups at Starbucks? Because they can't even.

I can't keep a steady job! I worked in an orange juice factory but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate. I worked in the woods as a lumber jack but I just couldn't hack it. They gave me the ax. I worked as a tailor but I wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job. I worked in a muffler factory but it was too exhausting. I attempted to be a deli worker but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard. I worked as a musician but I found out I wasn't note worthy. I worked as a doct…

Cappuccino in Starbucks I ordered a cup of cappuccino in Starbucks. I received a cup and went back to my office. At my office, I realized it was just hot milk. I went to Starbucks again to complain to the clerk. Me: It is just hot milk but I ordered cappuccino. Clerk: Because cappuccino is just hot milk. I'll make cafe latte again, sir.

Topical Jokes for 10/16 (for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host) Joe Biden's son has been discharged from the Navy after testing positive for cocaine. Joe Biden contacted his son immediately and asked, ""Do you have any left!?!"" New York has selected yogurt as the state's official snack. Governor Cuomo made the decision after riding on the New York subway, and sitting in a substance that he assumed was yogurt. In Illinois, a cow that is 6 feet, 4 inches tall, has b…

Why was the girl at starbucks counting her coins in 3's? Because white girls cant even

funny? Ordered coffee at Starbucks. He asked my name, so I told him ""Bingo"". When my coffee was ready he shouted ""Bingo...Bingo"". I don't think he thought it was very funny.

Topical Jokes for 6/20 (For best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night personality) In Maryland, two teenagers have won a marbles championship. The winning teens quickly said thank you, then boarded their time machine, to return to the year 1937. In Illinois, a university is offering a scholarship for students who play video games. The school was then forced to suspend the program when a student found out you could get unlimited scholarships, by pressing up up, down down,…

Topical Jokes for 6/11 In California, a ten-year-old boy has graduated from high school. And in Florida, a ten-year-old girl has dropped out of school because she's pregnant. ...the boy has already sent out a college application, which was written in magic marker, on the back of a Fruit Roll Up. Casey Kasem's family has decided to take him off of life support. They made the decision after Kasem's brain activity shot to the bottom of the charts. Starbucks has announced their new tables will wirel…

Q: How are your mum and a starbucks tip jar the same? A: Both of them will beg you to get a pound in. This joke works best if you realise I live in the UK and ""pound in"" and ""pounding"" sound the same in a manchester accent. Yeah.... jokes aren't funny if you have to explain them :(

Starbucks Employees at Starbucks hate me...probably because I never buy anything when I go there just to take a dump.

Have you heard the joke about Oprah's new line at Starbucks? It's a warm, comforting, medium-dark roast.

If you don't believe that full human cloning is occurring... ...just look at each middle-aged female driver of every Range Rover that drives passed you on the road. Her name is Terrible Rich Identical Succubus Harlot, or ""T.R.I.S.H."" TRISH was the first successful prototype and there are many copies of her everywhere. She will be the only one in the car, appear very well-rested, hair, nails, and makeup always perfectly done, completely carefree, wearing gold jewelry, a 5+ carat diamond ring, a…