Starbucks Jokes

They say real women have curves. Well, then, the lady in front of me at Starbucks is a real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real woman.

Tell the Starbucks barista that your name is Voldemort. Watch for those who don't flinch when the name is called. They will be your allies.

Dude in front of me at Starbucks made a big show about calling his Grande a "medium" and the barista was like, "Uck, this again"

If the secret ingredient in Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte was the tears of underprivileged children, white people would still drink it.

#NewSATQuestions Starbucks messed up Kate's order. Kate's white. How done is she? a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even

Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say "um"

Can we all agree the biggest balls belong to the first person to set up a tip jar at Starbucks?

This guy just rubbed up against me so hard in line at Starbucks now I know what an altar boy feels like.

1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave

He was next in line at Starbucks. Then she cut in front of him. Liam Neeson in TAKEN 3: SKINNY VANILLA MAYHEM.

I'm the Jason Bourne of avoiding people I know at Starbucks.

I'm simultaneously drinking Starbucks and a Monster, in case I need to do something extreme and be a snob about it, within the next 30 min.

Just witnessed a white girl take a selfie with her coffee in Starbucks. I always heard the legends but never thought I'd see it in the wild.

Can I get a pina colada please. 'This is Starbucks' Sorry, can I have venti pina colada.

There's a 100% chance the Republicans will discuss Starbucks cups in a debate tonight, so remember that when they ask how they lost in 2016.

Starbucks really isn't that expensive when compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks... Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went by loaded with rolls of sod. ""I'm going to do that when I win the lottery,"" announced Blonde #1. ""Do what?"" asked Blonde #2. ""Send my lawn out to be mowed!"" [Sod](http://stoneproscanada.ca/images/sod%20bundle.jpg) Edit: For people who don't know what sod is.

That awkward moment... ...when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realise she just lost an earring...and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod.

How do aliens pay for their coffees? With Starbucks!

Today i went to starbucks I got in and ordered a large coffee with milk, and the dude looked at me like i was a lunatic

Christmas heart good intention avoided disaster In Starbucks, waiting for my wife to finish getting her Christmas massage. Yes, I'm such a great husband. In fact, I'm also a great person. I noticed a guy without food or drink sitting in a chair near the entrance. He had a shaved head, shabby clothes, and while looking a little suspicious, I had some unexpected compassion for him. Why would I consider him when I only wanted to fuel up on caffeine and social media? By the look of this guy, I assum…

One beer please! *This is Starbucks!* Oh, my fault, I'm Bill.

Hunters should always know what's behind their target Behind mine is a Sam's Club and a Starbucks

One guy working at Starbucks is checking out the new employee. ""Man, her ass is huge!"" The boss interjects ""Mark, watch your language. You're at work!"" ""Sorry, boss, you're right. Man, her butt is Venti""

My brother just finished his doctorals So he went to Starbucks to celebrate. The cashier said. ""What would you like sir?"" ""I would like an espresso please"" my brother replied. ""Okay sir, I just need your name."" The cashier said. ""It's Stephen"" My brother replied. ""With a 'ph'?"" The cashier asked. My brother then replied. ""No, it's Stephen, with a PhD""