Starbucks Jokes

Ppl at Starbucks are weird. They love it when I bring our chihuahua in a little baby stroller, but get all freaked out when I let him nurse.

Fact: 98% of Jeep owners are guys named Jake, who wear shorts in the winter, and work at Starbucks.

Why are people upset about the Starbucks cup and not the fact that they are paying $7 for coffee?

*climbs Mt. Everest hoping to find clarity, PEACE & a deeper understanding of myself & the world* "When did they put a Starbucks up here?"

I made a barista at Starbucks cry when I put my name down as "Dad" and he just stood there calling it over and over

When your mate says his name is Stephen with a 'ph' to the cashier and he gets his Starbucks cup back reading 'PHEVEN'. That.

I took someone else's coffee at Starbucks because I liked her name better.

If I worked at Starbucks I'd pull a Napoleon Dynamite every time. "I see you're drinking 2%, is that because you think you're fat?"

Bon Iver just walked into my Starbucks. Wait nope just a super sad cat.

Babies are like Starbucks because they're expensive as shit and yet you still forget them on the roof of your car

Filed a restraining order against Starbucks. Creepy. Every time I turn around, there they are.

That moment when the woman ur dancing behind bends over so u can grind &u realize she lost an earring & nobody in starbucks can hear ur iPod

Sure, everyone thinks a chubby dude in a diaper shooting people with a bow & arrow is cute until I do it at Starbucks & please send bail.

[Starbucks] Excuse me, this isn't what I ordered. "You ordered a Grande." Yes, but this is Ariana Grande. "Sir, please just take her."

Whenever the Starbucks guy asks for my name I laugh and whisper "I'm seeing someone"

[Ouija board in Starbucks] "Speak to me spirits" O M G H A V E U S E E N W H A T K R I S T Y I S W E A R I N G G R O S S

[starbucks] One tall iced latte please "Ok, can I have a name?" Well ok but it really should come from your parents

[graduation] ...and I owe it all to my mom, and my late dad *sheds tear* [crowd cries] *dad walks in holding starbucks* "traffic, my bad"

.@Starbucks it is 2014 why don't you sell pickles

Look at all these people writing in Starbucks, just like Hemingway.

Bear Grylls lies on the floor at Starbucks peeing into his own mouth, "this is literally the only way to survive in this environment"

"Oh is it by the Starbucks?" Um... everything's by a Starbucks

[Starbucks meeting] ME: Sorry I'm "latte" haha BOSS: Aren't you the guy we fired for biting a customer

*walks into work 20 minutes late* *boss glares at me* "Sorry. Traffic." *boss gestures to my Starbucks cup* "Oh this? I found it."

I never ask for people to send me thoughts & prayers but, while sitting at Starbucks a man standing behind me farted on my shoulder.