Ouija Board Jokes

*At the ouija board* Me: Err... mom? Can't we just... Ouija board: A-N-D A-N-O-T-H-E-R T-H-I-N-G

Ouija board just told me it's still waiting on a grandbaby and I was like lol Mom when did you die

My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.

The Ouija board spells out WHAT'S UP GAYLORD and I'm like is there really no one else in the spirit realm besides my grandma?

trying to get through to Mozart on the Ouija board I really want him to listen to the Thong Song

[Ouija board in Starbucks] "Speak to me spirits" O M G H A V E U S E E N W H A T K R I S T Y I S W E A R I N G G R O S S

I like to use the Ouija board to pester my dead husbands.

[100 year old man on job interview] "Do you have any references?" Sure, hold on. *pulls out Ouija board*

*Ouija board begins spelling* H-A-V-E_S-O-M-E "Ooooh, spooky" G-R-A-N-D-C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N "Dammit Grandma, haunt someone else"

I love arguing with you so much, I'll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.

I'm working on inventing an electronic Ouija board so that I can keep tweeting after I die.

[Ouija Board] Me: Spirit, answer this one questiondo you like me? Board: R E A D 1 2 : 3 7 P M

I hope at my funeral someone has the foresight to bring a Ouija board so I can live tweet Hell.

Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board.

*Husband using Ouija board after I've died* Please answer me *arrow moves* "It's on the top shelf. Right there. RIGHT THERE! Use your eyes!"

*spills wine on Ouija board* OUIJA: *moving pointer by itself* H-E-Y S-S-E-X-Y D-Y-O-O-U-W-W-A-N-N-A M-A-K-E O-U-T ME: *moves pointer to NO*

[using Ouija Board] "Will i ever find true love--" "NEW GHOST WHO DIS"

[Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?

If I were a ghost, I'd spell "antidisestablishmentarianism" on the Ouija board just to waste those idiots' time.

*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS

[Ouija Board] "Oh great spirits tell me ur secrets" You'll die soon "OMG HOW" Hold on I have another call

SO SPEAKETH THE OUIJA BOARD, "N E W N U M B E R W H O I S T H I S"

Getting a text message from your ex is like getting a message from Satan on an Ouija board.

[Ouija board] GRANDMA WHERE IS YOUR COOKIE RECIPE

I asked my Ouija board when I was going to get a girlfriend and it spelled out HAHAHAHAHA until it caught fire.