Watching my mother-in-law order at Starbucks is like watching a drunk gorilla try to start a car with a french fry.

"Can you validate my parking?" "You parked beautifully. Your dad would be proud." *wipes away tears* "Thanks."

A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot.

Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor? Vet: I treat horses but maybe i can help M: My son broke his leg! V: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck