Bon Iver just walked into my Starbucks. Wait nope just a super sad cat.

Bear Grylls lies on the floor at Starbucks peeing into his own mouth, "this is literally the only way to survive in this environment"

So when a cat pounces on a stranger's lap and demands tickles it's "cute" but when I do it I'm "causing trouble in Starbucks" again. Jeez!

A man was walking into Starbucks for his daily coffee, except this time there were a ton of birds, numbering in the thousands. He walked in and asked the barista, ""Hey, what's up with all these birds?"" The barista replied, ""I'm not sure, but it's affecting our business. Tell you what, I'll give you a dollar for every bird you can kill. I've got some burnt pastries you can throw at them."" The man walked outside, pastries in hand, and started pelting the birds with them. He quickly ran out of …