[Starbucks meeting] ME: Sorry I'm "latte" haha BOSS: Aren't you the guy we fired for biting a customer

Starbucks job interview: "What's your name?" "Alyssa" "Spell that please" "L A R I S S A" "When can you start?"

Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.

As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"