[Starbucks meeting] ME: Sorry I'm "latte" haha BOSS: Aren't you the guy we fired for biting a customer

I'm pretty sure the rule at Starbucks is the slowest employee makes the drinks

At a Starbucks job interview "What is your name?" -Alyssa "Could you spell that, please?" -L A R I S S A "When can you start?!"

Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.