Science Jokes

Joke for chemistry nerds ;) Argon walks into a bar and the bartender says: -We don't serve noble gases here! Argon doesn't react.

Biology Joke If I ever meet the cell cycle, I'm going to punch him in the phase.

I think my lab partner and I are finally hitting it off because I feel a lot of chemistry between us.

A male frog calls a medium line and he is told he'll meet a beautiful lady frog. ""Will it happen at a ball?"" he asks. ""no , in a biology class""

Researchers found that beers contain small portion of female hormone... In a thoroughly scientific experiment the test subjects, who were each given 6 liters of beer, started showing symptoms of: 1. blushing in front of fellow men. 2. started meaningless and small tete-a-tete 3. and they couldn't drive car.(all of them had a legitimate license).

There was once these three students... ... and they were told to conduct an experiment of their choice. So the bought an elephant and put a cork in its ass and fed it non stop for 3 weeks. The idea was to see if it would all discharge at once. They had everything for the experiment ready: the hired a field had transport of the elephant but none were brave enough to pull out the cork. They trained a monkey to do it and with the elephant in the middle of the field and the monkey primed to release …

a scientist, a physicist, and an economist... a scientist, and physicist and an economist were trapped on a desert island. they had one can of beans but no can opener. the scientist said ""lets assume that i smash the can with a rock then we could split the beans evenly,"" but the others said they would lose too much in the process. the physicist said ""lets assume i put the can in the fire and wait til it pops open and then we split the beans evenly,"" but the others said it could explode and t…

What is this compound? Chemistry teacher drew this during class. http://imgur.com/fQyNg Don't know how to type spoilers, but maybe rot13 will do. Vg'f n cnenqbk.

I was in chemistry class today.... ...Man it was Bohring

Death of a College Student I was having some trouble in my Physics class; I just couldn't understand some of the things I was being taught. I decided to go to office hours to try to learn directly from my professor. Even in office hours, the other students were much better than me, and I was constantly getting questions wrong. The professor noticed my frustration and took me up to the roof for a private chat. He took me by the shoulder, and said that I had a lot of potential here. Then the rat-b…

Jewish scientist wanted to become rich and famous... After years of research he finally created his great invention - a potion that would make cats talk. He started travelling all around the country, showing off his invention, but to his astonishment people were not interested. He thought about it for a while and decided, that perhaps cats were not popular enough, or cat owners did not want to know what their pets are saying. So he worked for several more years and modified the potion so that it…

So my science teacher started class today with ""Relative Dating....."" It's like prom night in Kentucky.

Current event physics joke ""We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here"" said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar. [source @flyosity](https://twitter.com/#!/flyosity/status/117262301123461120)

Quick! I need cheesy science jokes!!

I would tell you another chemistry joke... But all the best ones Argon.

My 10 year old niece said her science teacher entered her in a science fair I said, call the police!

A Master's degree? John Q. Nerd gets his Master's Degree from the MIT Laboratory for Computer Science here in Technology Square and spends two months looking for a job. Unfortunately, DEC is laying people off and Wang went bankrupt. He's running low on rent money so he decides to work in the Central Square McDonald's on weekends and look for a job during the week. After John hands in an employment application, the manager tells that he isn't qualified. ""Not qualified!?! I've got a Master's degr…

Blonde Smarts *Note; this joke as I originally heard it involves blondes by convention; if you're offended by this stereotyping, replace it with your own generic cultural symbol of dullness. --- Blondes around the world began getting tired of being constantly mocked. The taunts were beginning to get to them, and the poor blondes were not going to tolerate being the butt of every joke any more. ""We are not as dumb as you think,"" they proclaimed, ""and we will go to whatever lengths necessary to…

Gimme your best science jokes. Recently (April Fool's Day) U.S. National Public Radio had a special episode of their show ""Science Friday"" that featured science jokes. OK Reddit, what are your best science jokes?

Computer scientists and engineers 'A group of engineers and computer scientists from the same university are attending a conference in the next town. The decide to take the train. The engineers buy one ticket each. The computer scientists scratch their heads, pool their cash and buy a single ticket. The engineers think this is strange but watching computer scientists get in trouble should be fun. The conductor comes around to get the tickets and all the computer scientists disappear into the bat…

It started as a prank in a college science lab He was eventually arrested for terrorism. It was a drug that made people's farts visible. For days across the city, arrays of colored clouds emitted from everyone. He'd put it in the water supply.

Three Holy Men & a Bear A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of a university. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee, and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to conve…

Two atoms are walking down the street... One of them says, ""Oh my. I think I've lost an electron."" And the other says, ""Oh my God! It's a talking atom!""

A scientist and a philosopher...

Science flies you to the moon.