Hawaii Jokes

One wish A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon an old lamp. Giving it a rub a genie appears and says to him, "I will grant you one wish, what will it be?" The man thinks then says "Well, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I get sea sick and I'm too afraid to fly over all that water. I wish there was a bridge there so I could just drive over!" The genie replies "No way! Think of how much material that'd be! How about something else?" The man thinks again and comes up w…

Bridge to Hawaii Greg is in his car driving on the highway by the ocean in California when he stops and asks God for just 1 wish for being a super faithful and good human being. God instantly appears and tells Greg that he has earned right for one wish. Greg: I wish for a bridge from here to Hawaii so that I can drive there and have a great time. God: Ehhhh…. your wish is too materistic! I would have to get the concrete, carefully think about the design, along with pipes and suspensions for …

Man finds a Genie in a bottle Man walking along the beach finds a bottle, opens it, out pops a Genie "Ok, great you found me and all but im busy and you get One Wish. Take it or leave it" "Well, jeez, I always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate flying, and I get sea Sick. How bout a highway from San Francisco to Hawaii" "Are you nuts? Do you know how long a bridge that would be? How deep the pylons would go? Why the Engineering alone would be a Monumental undertaking....Pick something…

A couple has a baby boy born without a body... (A Two-Parter) *** Part 1 *** After years of trying to conceive, a couple finally manages to have a baby. However, the baby is born with only a head, with no body, arms, or legs. Despite the setback, the couple set out to raise their child as they would any other. After ten years of challenging child-rearing, the couple decide to take a much-deserved vacation to Hawaii. On the beach in Maui, they meet a rather eccentric doctor. After describing t…

A man is walking on a beach... And he trips over something. He looks down, and it is an old bottle. He picks it up, and out pops a genie. "I will give you one wish, and only one. What will it be?" The man thinks, and thinks. He lives in California, but really loves to visit Hawaii, but he despises flying. So he asks the genie, "I want a bridge from California to Hawaii, over the Pacific ocean." The genie looks at him for a bit. He says "No, no, no. Sorry, but a bridge over the Pacific? That i…

The lord and the biker might have been done b4 but i have yet to see it sorry if repost The Lord and the Biker A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challe…

I Got Pull Over Today (real conversation with cop) So….today I got pulled over about 15 feet from the front of my building on my way to work for rolling a stop as I was putting my seatbelt on. I just left it unbuckled so he didn’t think I was trying to pull one over on him. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I’m an idiot. Officer: [grinning] Well. Me: I rolled a stop. Stupid. [awkwardly] I am… stupid. Officer: Yeah. Me: I’m sorry. That was….I’m sorry. Officer: [givin…

A man walking along a Californian beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, please grant me one wish". The sunny Californian sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I shall grant you one wish". The man replied, "build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over whenever I want". The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertakin…

Topical Jokes for 10/21 (for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host) NASA scientists are preparing for a mission to Mars by spending eight months in Hawaii. After eight months in Hawaii, the scientists will then go on a well-earned vacation. ...the Hawaii mission will help astronauts practice doing tequila shots while wearing those giant helmets. Wal-Mart has announced they will begin offering checking accounts to customers. The checking accounts will give Wal-Mart …

Letter from Grandma... Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes... The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, ju…

A man finds a magic lamp... He rubs it and a genie comes out and say "hello! You have found my lamp and I shall grant you one wish. Perhaps the one thing you want most in life." The man thinks and responds "well, I've really wanted to go to Hawaii so I want you to build a bridge from San Diego to Hawaii." The genie responds "that's impossible! Think about the logistics! How would the supports reach the bottom on the ocean? Who would maintain it? No, ask for something else." So the man thinks ag…

A 15 year old boy comes home with a Porsche... A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car?" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money!?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs." "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." The parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?" they asked. "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "Don…

Little Johnny...again. A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give imp…

A man walking along a California beach was in deep prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish." The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want to." The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking ;the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific;the concrete and stee…

For our 25th anniversary, I took my wife to Hawaii... ...and for our 26th I plan to go back and get her.

Sheikh was talking to his travel agent.... Sheikh: I am about ready for a vacation. Only this year, I am going to do it a little differently.... The last few years, I have been taking your advice on where to go.... Three years ago you said go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and spent some days and my wife Razia got pregnant..... Then two years ago, you told me to enjoy Bahamas, and Razia got pregnant again.... Last year you suggested Tahiti and Razia once again got pregnant..... Travel agent: …

The Genie In The Lamp A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said: "You have released me from my lamp… This is the eighth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of granting all of these wishes, so you can forget about three. You only get ONE wish. What's it going to be?" The man sat and thought about it for a while before finally saying, "I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I’m too…

A Bridge to Hawaii A man is cleaning out his garage and comes upon an old lamp. He figures what the heck, takes the lamp, rubs it off, and sure enough a Genie pops out. “Thank you for awakening me. I will grant you one wish.” The man inquires “anything I want?" “Yes, anything” says the Genie. The man says “I’m afraid of flying but I’ve always wanted to visit Hawaii. I’d like you to build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive there and visit.” “A bridge to Hawaii?!” the Geni…

2 Priests go to the beach... Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won't be identified as clergy. They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach. They notice a gorgeous blond in a tiny bikini. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by. The men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer shorts, tie dyed T-shirts, and dark glasses. The next day, they return to …

A man on his Harley.. ..was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the co…

You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.. But hey.. That's just Hawaii roll.

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports re…

The Billionaire Kid. A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny, always the first with his hand up and always the naughtiest says “I wanna be a billionaire Miss” “I’ll be going to the most expensive clubs, take my best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day!”. The teacher is shocked and and is not quite sure how to dea…

"Dad, what made you fall ill in Hawaii?" "Poi, son."

A 17-year-old boy, who works part-time at Pizza Hut, pulls up to his house in a stunning Porsche. His parents are immediately suspicious, knowing there's no way his after-school job could have paid for such an expensive car. "Where did you get that car?" they shout, astonished. "I bought it today," the boy replies calmly. "With what money?" his mom demands. "We know how much a Porsche costs, and there's no way you can afford it!" The boy shrugs. "It’s used, and I got a great deal. I only pai…