Hawaii Jokes

You sure? A man in California find a genie lamp on the beach , and after rubbing it a genie pops out. "" You get one free wish."" The genie told him. ""I thought it was three wishes?"" The man asked. ""No, that has been a lie for thousands of years, it's just one, so make it count!"" After thinking it over the man says ""Ok, I've never been to Hawaii. But I don't like riding on boats and I don't like riding on planes. I'd like you build me a bridge from here to Hawaii."" The genie seemed hesitan…

K Wow! Congratulations! With that 0.1 seconds of your life you saved are you gonna go to Mauritius or Hawaii?

Just another Genie A biker going through is third divorce comes across a very unusual bottle. As he is cleaning it a genie appears. The genie says to the biker, I will grant you one wish. The biker looks at the genie and calls him out on the fact that genies are supposed to grant three wishes. This genie explains to the biker that he is only a junior genie and he will only be able to perform on wish. After careful thought the biker says, OK, I got it. I would like for you to build me a bridge fr…

VOG For centuries, England has often been hemmed in by fog. Accordingly, the British often say if they are not clear about something, ""I haven't the foggiest."" While the Hawaiian Islands don't have fog, they do at times have vog, literally volcanic air pollution, a word amalgamation of volcanic gases and smog. So I guess it would be apropos for anyone in Hawaii who is stumped by a situation to say, ""I haven't the voggiest.""

What do you call it when two transgender people go on a couples cruise around Hawaii? A trans pacific partner ship.

Two girls are on vacation in Hawaii. They are looking up at the sky, it is beautiful with stars shining and the moon out. One girl asks the other, whats closer to Hawaii the moon or Florida. The other girl responds, ""the moon, duh? you can't see Florida from here....""

I like my women like Hawaii... Warm, wet, and Asian.

Retired golf vacation in Hawaii... A man retires after 35 years at the same job and decides to take his first retirement vacation in Hawaii with his wife. He is really looking forward to two weeks of sightseeing and golf. The day they arrive, he signs up for pro golf lessons at the beautiful Pebble Beach Country Club. After a night out with his wife, they wake refreshed and go out to the links. The man and his wife and the golf pro begin the course and they do rather well. After the sixth hole, …

I read a magazine article about a population increase in Hawaii. The author was Commonawannalaya.

God grants a faithful Christian a wish. A Christian man is kneeling and praying next to his bed one night when God shows up. God says ""Son, you have been a very devoted Christian. I would like to thank you by granting you a wish."" The man is astonished at what is happening, but in keeping with his faith knows that God is before him. The Christian man ""Well I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, but as you know I have a great fear of flying and getting on a boat is just as bad. Could you build …

The Biker and God So God is watching this this biker as he rides in California, he was a real nasty guy in a biker gang, used to be a real bastard. Eventually he got married, had kids, left his life of crime behind him and became a really good guy. God then starts talking to him: > So, you used to be a real bad guy, now you have a family and do plenty of charity work. I'm really impressed, i'm going to grant you one wish, tell me what you want. The biker is thankful and responds. >Wow God,…

I just took my girlfriend to Hawaii... my wife was pissed. Credit: Old guy at work yesterday when I got back from Hawaii.

A man walking along the beach stumbles upon a lamp... (Told today by my Co-Worker) He picks up and rubs the lamp, and a genie pops out to give him one wish. **Genie**: Hello my friend, I am a genie that will grant you one wish **Man**: Well, I've never been to Hawaii because I'm deathly afraid of flying. But I like to drive. I wish for a bridge and highway from LA to Hawaii. **Genie**: Are you crazy! Do you know the logistics that would go into that? The mileage? The ocean is thousands of feet d…

A man finds a lamp on the beach. He rubs it, and out pops a genie. ""You only get one wish,"" says the genie. ""Oh, I've thought about this a lot!"" Says the man, ""What I really want is a highway all the way to Hawaii. That way I can vacation whenever I want!"" ""Are you serious?"" Replies the genie. ""A job that big will sap all of my genie powers. I'll be out of commission for months. Isn't there anything else you want?"" ""Hmm,"" says the man, ""well, I guess I've always been curious about t…

What did the Muslim Terrorist say when he bombed Hawaii? Oahu Akbar!

Terrorists in Hawaii be like.. ..Aloha Akbar.

Little Johnny's at it again.... A teacher asks her class, ""What do you want to be when you grow up?"" Little Johnny says ""I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day"". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not…

What did the hungry terrorist say when he went on a vacation to Hawaii? ***ALOHA SNACKBAR***

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche. A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, ""Where did you get that truck?!"" He calmly told them, ""I bought it today."" ""With what money?"" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. ""Well,"" said the boy, ""this one cost me just fifteen dollars."" So the parents began to yell even louder. ""Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?…

Three men are talking about how to make women stop whining Jack says : Last year I took her and we went to the bahamas and this year I will take her to Hawaii John says : Last year I took her and we went to Greece and this year I will take her to Brazil . What about you George ? George says : Last year I took her and we went up to the mountains . John replies : What about this year George ? Then George says : Ergh this year I am thinking of going to take her back .

To his utter disbelief, a man is granted a wish from God. He asks, ""Please build a bridge from California to Hawaii. That way so many more people could go and experience the beauty of Hawaii."" God replies, ""That is asking a lot. That would be 3000 miles of bridge! Ask for something else."" ""Ok,"" he replies, ""in that case, please help me understand women."" Um, how many lanes did you want on that bridge?

A man approached the check in counter, he had a flight booked to Miami. He leaned over to the lady and said ""Miss I have a special request, I would like my green bag to go to London, and my red bag to go to Hawaii"" Confused, the check in lady said ""I'm sorry sir we can't do that"" The man responded ""Thats great news, because thats what happened last time""

So a minister finally meets god This Minister has led the 'holy life' to the T. He has done all he can to bring light to the people around him and one night God speaks to him: ""My child, the work you have done with your life has been magnificent. You truly have earned your place in the afterlife and I'm here to give you one wish to show my gratitude to your work."" The Minister thinks for a second and says: ""With all that I have given, I have never been able to afford to travel. I'd like a hig…

A newel married women is looking to book for honeymoon A newly married Women goes a travel agent & says, ""Can you give me a great deal on a Honeymoon package"" Agent: We have a $8000 package to Hawaii for 3 nights / 2 days including Flight, Hotel & Food Women: Do you have a cheaper package? Agent: We have a 2 Nights / 3 Days package to Florida Keys that includes travel, hotel & Drinks for $5000 Women: Do you have a package cheaper than this? A better deal? Agent: We have a special o…

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up his parent's driveway in a Porsche.... Naturally, his parents know that there's no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car. ""Where did you get that car?"" his mom and dad screamed in shock. He very calmly tells them, "" I bought it today."" ""With what money young man?"" his mom demands. ""We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it"" ""Well, it's used and I Got a good deal"" says the boy, ""This…