Hawaii Jokes

A 17 year old Pizza Hut worker parks a stunning Porsche in front of his house... “Where did you get that car?” his parents exclaim in shock. “I bought it today,” the teen responds calmly. “With what money?” his mother demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs, and there’s no way you could afford it!” “Well, it’s used, and I got a great deal,” the boy explains. “I only paid 20 dollars for it.” “Who would sell a car like that for 20 dollars?!” “The lady up the street,” …

"Where are you going on vacation, Bob?" Dave asked his co-worker. "Las Vegas." "You don't sound very excited." "Well, I'm a little concerned," said Bob. "Went to Cancun last year, and my wife got pregnant. Went to Hawaii the year before that, and she got pregnant then, too." "Wow! Are you going to take precautions?" "Absolutely. This year I'm taking her with me."

Why did European sailors give Hawaii the name “Sandwich Islands”? They just Cooked it up.

For our 10th anniversary, I took my wife to Hawaii. And for our 20th anniversary, I went back to get her.

Life lesson A sales rep, an admin clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and t…

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of the house in a beautiful Porsche. Naturally, his parents know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car. “Where did you get that car?” his mom and dad screamed in shock. “I bought it today,” replied the teen calmly. “With what money young man?” his mom demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it!” “Well, it’s used and I got a good deal” says the boy, …

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he sai…

Grandma is eighty-eight and drives her own car... She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy i…

It's my cake day, so one of my favorite jokes ... A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, "Where did you get that truck?!" "I bought it today," he says. "With what money?" says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost. "Well," he says, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars." The father looks at him like he's crazy. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" he says. "It was the lady up the street," says the boy.…

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge…

Apparently, it is illegal to laugh loudly in Hawaii All you can do is a low HA

Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii? Or just a low ha.

A teacher asks her class "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked and not knowing how to respond to this, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the …

it's not great, but not terrible either. Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" tople…

Kim Jong Un: I have a big button on my desk Donald Trump: I have a big button on my desk Hawaii Emergency Alert Guy: Hold my beer

My friend and I were in Hawaii we both got messages saying ballistic missiles were closing in on us

Everyone in Hawaii is mad about the malfunction of the early warning system. Those fools. Hawaii **IS** the early warning system.

""Dad what made you fall ill in Hawaii?""

2 Priests go to the beach... Vacationing in Hawaii

A Jewish congregation... in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week

For our 25th anniversary I took my wife to Hawaii...

The bridge to Hawaii A man is cleaning out his garage and comes upon an old lamp. He figures what the heck

I came up with this joke myself. One person laughed. What do you think? I work with a guy who moved to Vermont from Hawaii. He likes to start with people but also has people who like him. Those people always ask about him..."How is he?", "Does he still work here?" My joke is in response to those two questions. (His name) is the reason Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. Evidently they missed. Yeah, he likes to create things like world wars. I'm not racist, I just don't like him.

What Did Delaware? -She wore her New Jersey! Why did California? -She called to ask Hawaii. Where did Chicago? -The same place Oregon Where has Oregon? I don't know but Alaska. She said she went to pay her Texas. What did Missisip? She sipped a Minnesota. What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas How did Wisconsin? He robbed an Oklahoma using a Kentucky.

How did the Mexican greet people in Hawaii? Ahola.