First Man Jokes

Two men are waiting in a queue in the bank when suddenly armed robbers rush in. Some of the robbers have tellers filling bags with cash whilst some others line customers up and start to take their watches, wallets etc. In panic, one of the men puts something into the other man's hand. “What is it?” asked the first man. “It's that $100, I owe you!” replied the second man.

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!" The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, f…

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had told their new wives what their household duties were to be. The first man had married a woman from Tennessee. He bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done. The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning…

Two men were chatting in a pub. First man says, “What is your wife’s name?” “Her name is Doris but I call her five horses” replied the second man. “Why do you call her that?” “NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG is all she ever does!” he replied.

Two men talking in a pub. First man said, “How did you get that black eye?” Second man, “My wife hit me and it was all because of television programmes.” “I don't understand” said the first man. “Well, she asked me if I knew what was on TV. and I replied – DUST!”

First man: “You know, I hear Microsoft is going to start making Condoms.” Second man: “That gives a whole new meaning to the words, “General Protection Fault!”

Man with a German Shepherd dog goes into a bar and sits down at the counter. Bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here!" Man says, "But this is a Seeing Eye dog!" Bartender says, "Well, OK, then I guess it can stay." After a while, the man and the German Shepherd get up to leave. As they're going out the door, another man with a Chihuahua is coming in. First man says, "The bartender won't like you bringing that dog in here, but just tell him it's a Seeing Eye dog and then it'll be OK." S…