First Man Jokes

Three men get their wives birthday presents. The first man

Two men are walking to the market together The first man says to the other

Four men and a woman are at a coffeehouse... The first man proudly says

Three men are trapped on an island inhabited by cannibals. Soon enough they get caught. the leader tells them to go out into the woods and pick ten of any fruit they find then come back. The first man comes back with ten apples. The leader says to him ""If you can stick all ten apples up your ass without making and sound or facial expression then you will be set free. If you fail we will eat you."" He only manages to get two in before cringing in pain

Two men walk down a street and see a dog licking it's balls... The first man says; ""I wish I could do that"

Three men are arguing 'when does life begin' The first man goes

Two men waiting at heavens gates strike up a conversation... Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. ""How'd you die?"" the first man asks the second. ""I froze to death

Three men arrive at a checkpoint near the gates of heaven The first man walks up to god

Two men are on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouts to the second :

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies “Yes I do!” and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks “Where did you get this?” The guy replies “Oh I have a personal genie.” The first man asks “Can I make a wish? ” Sure says the other man “Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing” “Ok I will” says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he want…

Three old men Three elderly men were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first man

Three men are on a desrted island and get captured by cannibals The chief of the cannibals walks up to the first man and says

Two Irish men are nailing down floorboards The first man grabs a nail but it is upside down so he tosses it away. He grabs the next nail but it also upside down so he throws that away too. He continues this process until he finds one the right side down.

A fisherman ask another man if he has a light... The other man pulls out a very large Bic lighter. The first man ask "" Hey that's a nice lighter

They say you can’t get a decent job without education..... They say you can’t get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!

A sack full of chickens Two rednecks walk down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what's in the sack. The first man says

Two black men are walking down the street ...and they see a sign that says ""Be white for 99 cents!"" The first man says he has the dollar on him

3 Men Awaiting Execution The first man sits in the electric chair: I believe in God

Two men are talking in a bar... ...the first man asks the other

3 guys are shipwrecked on an island full of cannibals The cannibals catch them and say""bring us 10 fruits or we will kill you"" the first man comes back with ten carrots the cannibals tell him""we'll stick them all up your ass if you dont move a muscle we'll let you live"" they force the first one up his ass he doesnt say anything but as soon as they touch the other carrot he says Ow! They throw him in a cage the second man comes back with ten berries they tell him the same thing and start fi…

Three friends decide to sell their three ducks... The first man takes his duck

Three guys are in a hospital waiting room Each of them has a wife in labor and is anxiously awaiting the arrival of their bundle of joy. The nurse comes out and says to the first man

Two Syrian refugees land in America... They make a bet to see who can become the most American. A year later they meet up for coffee. The first man says "" I am so American. I have a hot white wife

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket

Two men are at a train station.... First man goes to the ticket counter and is flustered by the attendant's huge breasts. He stammers out ""Uh..I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh...I mean..Pittsburgh"".