First man discovered fire. Then he invented the wheel. Then there was, like, 500 years where he just kept setting the wheel on fire.

Three friends die and go to heaven.. ..when they get there, they see St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter greets them and tells them that to enter heaven they must each answer one question, completely honestly. St. Peter calls the first man up and asks him if he ever cheated on his wife. The man tells St. Peter, ""I never cheated on my wife, I loved her everyday of my life."" St. Peter then welcomes the man into Heaven and tells him because of his faithfulness he gets to drive a Rolls Royce …

Two men are walking the woods. They come across a large hole the ground, several meters across and apparently bottomless. After examining the hole for a moment, they decide to throw something into the hole to see how long it takes for it to hit the bottom. The first man throws in a pebble, and after a long pause hears nothing. The second man throws in stone, and again nothing. The work together to roll a small boulder into the hole. They wait for a few minutes, but again, nothing. Finally, the f…

An old man stumbles into a bar after having had a few already... Once inside, he slides up to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. ""To the class of '55!"" he yells, holding the glass aloft. Next to him, an old drunk raises his glass, ""To the class of '55!"" ""Where you from?"" asks the first man of the second after they both toast. ""I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania."" ""You don't say?! I'm from Pittsburgh!"" The two men drink to their hometown. ""What high school did you go to?"" Ask the se…