Two Syrian refugees land in America... They make a bet to see who can become the most American. A year later they meet up for coffee. The first man says " I am so American. I have a hot white wife, a daughter, a house and a well paying job. I drink Budweiser with my friends after work at happy hour. I have come to accept gay marriage as a human right. I joined a bowling league and my average is above 200. What have you done?" The other Syrian looks at him and says " Shut up Towel Head!"

I'm married, but not "pass up the opportunity to sleep with Thor" married. Or Wolverine. Or Captain America. Or Jennifer Aniston...

Melania Trump doesn't want to live in the same place as her husband. More than half of America feels the same way.

America. Where assault weapons will protect your family, but two dudes getting married will destroy your family.