Thor Jokes

Stick around after sticking around after the Thor 2 credits. Very realistic 3D of a theater manager telling you to leave.

Whoever called it Thor 2 and not Keeping Up With The Asgardians is an idiot.

I'm married, but not "pass up the opportunity to sleep with Thor" married. Or Wolverine. Or Captain America. Or Jennifer Aniston...

If Thor is a woman, what's next? Woman doctors? Woman lawyers? Woman mothers? When will it end?

i have good and bad news Wife: Ok, the bad news? i didn't clean out the garage Wife:*sigh* the good news? [holds up cat dressed as Thor]

CAPT. AMERICA: Merry Christmas, Hulk! Happy Hanukkah, The Thing! Er... what religion are you, Thor? THOR: Do you understand I'm an actual god

-Joe's coming over. "Joe from work or Joe who thinks he's the Norse god, Thor?" [the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]

I bet Thor would lose his shit if he knew how many hammers are at Home Depot.

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE THOR - "here" HULK - "here" IRON MAN - "here" CAPT. AMERICA - "here" USELESS ARROW GUY - ... I SAID- HAWKEYE- I HEARD YOU

Odin is a king, Thor got his gender switched to a woman, Disney owns Marvel. So Thor is....A DISNEY PRINCESS KINDA!

Thor is definitely one of my top 5 favorite movies about hammers.

Are we Thor yet? Are we Thor yet? Are we Thor yet? Are we Thor yet? - How to annoy an Avenger when you're on a road trip.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T LIST THOR AS AN EMERGENCY BACKUP?!?!

I can explain the casting for Thor. Norse mythology describes him as a "hauntingly beautiful blonde lady"

"DAAAAAAAD!! LOKI KEEPS STEALING MY THUNDER!!" -adolescent Thor

Hubs: If you could sleep with... Me: THOR!!! Hubs: ...the fan off tonight, that'd be great. Me: Ohhhh...

Thor the God of Thunder So Thor, the God of Thunder, is sitting on his cloud on Asgard when he suddenly wants to visit the humans. He jumps on his magical flying horse and rides down to them. When he gets there he proclaims, ""I AM THOR!"" to which his horse replies, ""Well, that's because you forgot your thaddle thilly.""

Thor, the god of Thunder, was riding on his filly ""I'm Thor!"" he cried. The horse replied, ""Then uthe a thaddle, thilly!""

The thunder god.. sat upon his favourite Filly, I'm Thor, He Cried! The Horse replied, You forgot your thaddle thilly

The Viking God Thor comes to Earth... and spends all weekend shagging a woman with a harelip. On Monday morning he says to her ""I am Thor"". She replies ""you're thor, I can't even pith!""

Thor gets drunk, blacks out and wakes up next to a man. Confused, he looks at the man and says, ""I AM THOR."" And they guy says, ""You think you're thore, my ath is killing me.""

Scandanavian Booty Call What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her? ""I aint no Valhalla back girl.""

Thor is riding on the back of his mighty war horse. He shouts ""I AM THOR! I AM THOR!"" His horse replies: ""That's because you forgot your thaddle thilly!""

We could use Thor and his hammer to solve all our energy problems... I see the headlines already ""Earth powered by Generathor"".

What sort of cereal does Thor eat? Loki Charms.