Egypt Jokes

Is she Hungary? ""Is she Hungary?"" Jimmy asked. ""Alaska,"" said Johnny. ""Yes, Siam,"" she replied. ""All right. I'll Fiji,"" Jimmy offered. ""Oh, don't Russia "" Johnny admonished. ""What if she Whales?"" Jimmy demanded. ""Give her a Canada Chile,"" Johnny suggested. ""I'd rather have Turkey,"" she said. ""Except that I can't have Greece."" When the waiter bought the check, Johnny asked Jimmy, ""I say, look and see how much has Egypt you.""

During the Exodus, before the Israelites left Egypt, Moses talked to the Burning Bush. The Bush told Moses that in preparation for the departure from Egypt, the Israelites could not leaven their bread, so that when the day of the Exodus finally came, they would be ready to leave at a moment's notice. Every Israelite lived in a family hut, all except for old lady Nina, whose husband had passed on with no children. Everyone complied to this rule for the quite some time, but one day when Moses cons…

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Amal"". The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him ""Juan"". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: ""They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.""

What Is The Best Sub Reddit To See Once Watching ""Gods Of Egypt?"" /r/EyeBleach.

In Israel, we just want peace. A piece of Jordan, a piece of Egypt, a piece of Lebanon...

Chickens are Illuminati As of 2011 there is an estimated 19 billion chickens in the world or 3 for every person. What has 3 sides? A triangle. Where can you see triangles? The pyramids. Where are the pyramids? Egypt. What did Egyptians worship? Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs are rivals such as chickens and turkeys. When do people eat turkey the most? Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a few weeks away from Christmas in the USA. What's on the other side of the world from the USA? Japan. What do Japanese…

I got a call from Egypt today. They tried to get me involved in a pyramid scheme. (Credit to my wife for this one)

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used. It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made at first to look like a dead end but is truly a turn in the hallway. They venture around this turn a…

A pack of camels So on my last trip to Egypt I was wandering around the desert when I came across a man with his camels. He was atop a stool underneath the camels with what appeared to be two bricks in his hands. As I was watching, the man took the two bricks and brought them smashing together, crushing the camels nuts. I'm assuming to castrate the animal. I ran over and shouted ""Holy shit doesn't that hurt?!"" He turned to me and laughed. ""No, I move my thumbs.""

Archaeologists digging in Egypt have found a Mummy embalmed with chocolate and hazlenuts It's believed to be a Pharaoh Rocher

Best Jokes - Funniest Jokes 50 Jokes Jokes 1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' 2. ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.'' 3. ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra'' 4. A yo…

Twins!!!!!!!!!!! A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''

My friend went swimming in Egypt recently... I said to him 'you do realize your swimming in one of the longest rivers in the world!'. He didn't believe me though, he's in de nile.

What has now become the least popular donut in Egypt De Plain! De Plain!

How did the Pharaoh feel after falling for a craigslist scam? Egypt

What do you call a Russian airliner that goes down over Egypt? Karma.

Why shouldn't young people move to Egypt? Because only an old GIZA would live there!

According to newly discovered archaeological evidence, King Tut may have been addicted to opium. I was reading an article recently that suggests that as early as 1330 BCE the production of opium and its trade across Asia and into Africa was quite popular. According to scholarly interpretation of some hieroglyphs, King Tut was known for his frequent use of the substance, and his unhealthy behavior grew to adversely affect his leadership in Egypt. At one point, his wife and advisors held somewhat …

A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride The man from Egypt says ""we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids"". A while later the man from Paris says ""we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here"". Next, the man from Liverpool spoke. He said ""we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!"".

TOP 50 JOKES OF ALL TIME ;) 1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' 2. ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.'' 3. ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra'' 4. A young blonde woma…

A Tourist in Egypt is walking through the desert... A Tourist in Egypt is walking through the desert on his way from one Oasis to another. After a while, he spots a man, sitting in the middle of the desert, looking like he was holding on to an invisible steering wheel, and loudly going ""Vroom! Vrooooom!!"". Confused, he stepped closer. ""Excuse me, Sir"", the tourist asked, ""What are you doing here?"" ""Don't you see?"", the man replies, ""I am in the middle of a Desert Race! Better get out of…

Archeologists digging in a site in Egypt found a mummy buried with a large amount of chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be the Pharaoh Roche.

Jokes for the day!! 1. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!'' 2. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One …

A guy in Egypt was caught red handed stealing but was still refusing to accept it so they threw him in the river. He's still in De' Nile.

Hilary clinton President Obama said Hillary Clinton is approaching one million frequent flier miles in her job as Secretary of State. Though even that can't get her upgraded to the seat she really wants."" Jimmy Fallon Hillary Clinton says she and her family stay in touch by e-mailing a lot. Bill said, 'Yeah, that's why I'm always alone on the computer in my room, e-mailing my family.'"" Jimmy Fallon Hillary Clinton visited Egypt today for the first time since the uprising. When asked why she we…