Egypt Jokes

Common political joke from a village in Egypt It was voting day in Egypt and a man's wife repeatedly reminded him to go vote during his lunch break. Deciding that Hosny Mubarak had a long enough reign, he decided to vote for the other guy. Feeling proud of his decision, he told his wife. She became hysterical and scream ""What have you done? You'll get killed if you don't vote for Mubarak!"" The husband agrees and promises to change his vote. The next day, he speaks to an official at the voting …

So there's apparently been over 200, well preserved tibia excavated in the area surrounding the great pyramid in Egypt... sources say it was a real shin dig.

A band are sailing around the coast of North Africa (this is a great joke by the way) and they are looking for inspiration for a new song. They decide to make a stop in Algeria where an old man says that somewhere among the North African coastline, there is a beautiful melody being played. The band decide to go check it out. They get back on their boat and set sail. They make a stop and approach the first man they see. The band greet him and he says, ""Welcome to Morocco."" They decided that thi…

Why did the fat, religious Ugandan move to Egypt for weight loss candy? He wanted to find a lighten mint through trans-Sudan migration!

My cats are named Ra and Isis. In ancient Egypt, they would have been gods.

a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal he responds ""they're twins if you've seen juan you've seen amal"" (Saw this on tumblr. Credit user bladetheroosterteethfanguy)

So An american is visiting Egypt.. (egyptian joke translated) So he stops a taxi and rides with an Egyptian driver, after a small talk the egyptian driver wants to brag a little so when they pass by a big hotel he says, ""you see of that Building Egypt is much beautiful"", the american response that he have been to a lot of countries and that building is nothing new to him, "" oh but we only need 6 years of time to build it"", the american respondes ""well, we built the empire state tower in onl…

Best 50 funniest jokes ever... 1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' 2. ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.'' 3. ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra'' 4. A young blonde w…

Did you see the score to the Ethiopia vs Egypt soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't

Why did the pharoah go to the dentist? Because egypt his tooth.

My friends say im in denial I dont know what theyre talking about. Edit: second version: Ive never even been to Egypt!

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption... One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Ahmal"". The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ""Juan"". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes that she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds ""They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.""

Since it is ethnic joke day and all here's a Greek one. Little Jim comes home from Sunday school. Mom: What did they teach you today, honey? Jim: Today they taught us about Moses. God sent him on a secret mission to free the Hebrews from Egypt. When they got to the Red Sea Moses had his mechanics build a bridge so everyone could pass but when the Egyptians arrived and started crossing the bridge he called for backup from his radio and his mine squad blew the bridge up, drowning the Egyptians and…

My buddy's a surfer who left Egypt because his strict Christian family was always hovering over him... They were, like, hella Coptic bro.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.'

What do people say when you win a game in Egypt? Game, *Set,* and match.

Doctor says I need to see a chiropractor for my back pain... I said ""Are you nuts? I don't have time to go to Egypt!""

Who was the fattest Pharaoh of ancient Egypt? Hippo-Ptolemy

Amal & Juan A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Amal."" The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ""Juan."" Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ""But they are twins -- if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."" *I didn't write this, and it's not intended to be a repost, just liked it a…

a young girl had twins a young girl from America had identical twins when she was just 14 years old. she decided to sensible thing was to put them up for adoption because she knew she wouldn't be able to care for them years later after she had married and started a new family her and her husband decided they would look for her lost children. They searched through the records and found that one child was now living in Mexico. he had been named Juan. The other was living in Egypt and had been call…

A new project has started in Egypt; The government has begun to put more cars on the road, ordering them to beep occasionally. As a result, the familiar sounds of the city will be returned in order to calm the residents of Egypt. They have called this operation toot-and-calm-em.

Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt, people writing on walls and worshiping cats.

Breaking News ...A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt................. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche

If mummies are from egypt, then where are daddies from?

Q: Why was King Tutenkhamen considered the best pharaoh in all of Egypt? A: Because he always showed up in cuneiform.