Egypt Jokes

Why are the pyramids in Egypt? They're too heavy to carry to the British museum

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile... In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults. One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The two young men, sympathetic to a creature in need, approached the crocodile and released it from the trap. Once freed, the crocodile transformed into a wispy, glowing f…

Moses Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.” “ “Now, Joey, is th…

Why are the Great Pyramids in Egypt? Because they're too heavy and big to take to the British Museum

Why are the pyramids located in Egypt? They were too big to transport to England.

Why are the piramids in Egypt? There is a lot of debate on this, but it's mostly because they were too heavy to carry to the British museum

Why are the Great Pyramids in Egypt? Because they were too heavy to carry to the British Museum.

The Man who could only Drink Milk I know an old man who had lived a life full of adventure, but his health started to catch up with him. He'd run the Boston Marathon, was an avid surfer, and climbed Everest, but he'd started to have abdominal pains around his 85th birthday and went to see a doctor. Sadly, he ultimately was diagnosed with a rare degenerative liver disease that slowly made him allergic to everything he ate. He kept copious notes, and as an avid gastronomist slowly grew to despai…

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

I was watching a show about Ancient Egypt, and they mentioned that there were Seven Sacred Oils that they used to anoint the dead with. I thought that sounded interesting, so I decided to Google "Seven Sacred Oils of Egypt" and the entire front page of results is about where I can buy the essential oils the Egyptians used, you know mlm shit. I cannot stress enough how this is not what I was looking for, but in hindsight I probably shouldn't have been surprised that looking up something relat…

Why did you go to Egypt for honeymoon? To make the wife a mummy.

Breaking news from Egypt: they found a tomb covered in chocolate and nuts. They said it was a Pharaoh Rocher.

Archaeologists have recently found a mummy while excavating a tomb in Egypt Oddly enough

A mummy was found in Egypt. The archaeologists could not determine its origin. Then a Soviet adviser offered his help. The mummy was delivered to the Soviet embassy. In two hours the Soviet adviser appeared and said

An archaeologist in Egypt was taking a walk in the town square one morning. He had to get back to the hotel for a meeting but had forgotten his wristwatch.

I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Turned out to be a pyramid scheme

It's been 5 months since my best friend drowned in a river in Egypt. ....and he's still in denial.

BREAKING NEWS! Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate & hazelnuts

A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption One of the twin boys is adopted by a family in Spain and is named Juan. The other boy is adopted by a family in Egypt

I'm going on holiday to Egypt. A coworker told me it can get up to 100 degrees in the shade... ...I'll be staying out of the shade then.

There isn't a lot of water in Egypt. And if you disagree

I was having a lot of back pain in Egypt So I called the cairopractor

Damn girl are you from Egypt? Because A'frican love you.

A woman has twins... and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ""Ahmal."" The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him ""Juan."" Years later

Two Rastafarians go to the river in Egypt and one of them gets in and says ""Ey mon