If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist

Why go to a public pool when strangers on Craigslist will pee on you for free

just found out today that monkeys don't lay eggs. so what have i been buying on craigslist. what have i been eating

doctors before an x-ray be like "dont worry this is perfectly safe" and then the dude goes to egypt to press a button