Canada Jokes

TIL the current Prime Minister of of Canada has a tattoo, and is in a cover band called the Van Cats, but... ...only the first part was Trudeau.

Canada Post is under heavy DDoS attack. Somebody sent 2 letters at the same time.

A girl goes on holidays in Jamaica She met a nice local and they start dating. After a couple of days she tells him: - I am sorry but you never told me your name. - I can't, you'll find it ridiculous, I don't want you to laugh at me... - Oh please, please, I promise. I won't laugh at you. - Ok, my name is Snow. The girl looks at him with a poker face but then start to laugh, and laugh. - You promised you won't find it ridiculous, he says. - I don't. It's just, I just imagined the face of my frie…

How the nation of Canada got named. There was much polite arguing about what to name the country. So they decided to draw letters from a hat. The first letter was a ""C"", so the announcer says ""C, eh"". The next letter drawn was an ""N"", and he says ""N, eh""... I told this joke on /r/politics recently, figured I would share it here.

This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE

Terry Fox should have taken his leg off for his run across Canada in 1980 ... and made it the Marathon of Hop

How do you kill a fox? Cut off one leg and drag it across Canada.

My next door neighbour is really loud and obnoxious. So now I know how Canada feels. Well, it's what he would have wanted more.

Does Canada even have a president? Or is it just whichever moose has the strongest antlers?

If Canada was a Kingdom, PM Stephen Harper would be a King... ...but Canada is a country.

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny? Canadians became *penniless*

The story of how Canada got its name. In the year 1534 there were 3 explorers who discovered a great piece of land. They had no idea what to name it. So they each decided to pick a letter and go from there. The first explorer said ""C"" eh, the second said ""N"" eh, and the last said ""D"" eh. That's how the great Canada was named

The President of the United States and the Prime minister of Canada are comparing their bodyguards. The president orders his secret service agent to jump off a 40 foot platform. The agent heisitates and does so. The Canadian Prime minster now requests his highly trained guard to jump from the same spot. Guard replies: ""Here's a kilogram of cocaine. You jum....WAIT!! I WAS JOKING MR PRIME MINISTER!! SHITT!!""

Researchers in Canada have reported finding a superconductor that they say works at room temperature.

cach lam banh flan sua tuoi sua ac <a href=http://nauancungtien.com/huong-dan-cach-lam-banh-flan-bang-sua-dac.html>cach lam banh flan sua tuoi sua ac</a> Ngay nay, du hoc Canada ang tro thanh lua chon hang au cua cac ban hoc sinh, sinh vien

3 explorers were hiking through unexplored territory... When they decided this newly discovered expanses needed a name. The first explorer turns to the two behind him and says, ""this place needs a new name, we can each come up with a letter and see what we can make."" The other two agreed it was a phenomenal idea and proceeded. The first said ""C, eh."" The second responded ""N, eh."" While the last explorer finally said ""D, eh."" That's how the word Canada was born.

Someone told me Canada had no territories... I was having Nunavut.

A goose is flying over the border between the US and Canada... A goose is flying over the border between the US and Canada. You can hear two shots and the bird falls to the ground. Two hunters arrive at the same time to find the bird lying right on the border and they immediately start arguing about who shot the bird and who should be able to keep it. Finally, the Canadian hunter comes up with a suggestion: ""You know what: We'll settle this like real men. We'll kick each other in the balls unti…

Wanna here a joke? Canada. Sry if you're offended, but if you are the Internet is not the place for you. Yea as soon as I posted this I realized the Grammar mistake, and gosh it's just a joke don't take it so seriously.

Tommy's Mom Tommy's mom has three sons. Rick and Nash. Who is the third son? Tommy you idiot. (I know this is more of a cheesy riddle. Pardon me, I'm from Canada. Also, to my friends this is funny in Canada.)

Why couldn't the FBI find Sepp Blatter's bribe money? He used it all to bribe Canada to host the Women's World Cup.

A man called home to his wife and said... ...""Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I'v been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up"" "" Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."" The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy …

Why would Canadians make good American newscasters like Bill O'Reilly or Brian Williams? Because they're so freakin bored with Canada, they're always pretending to themselves they're somewhere they're not.

At the 2014 World Women's conference At the 2014 World Womens conference, the first speaker from Canada, stood up ""At last years conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband I would no longer cook for him, and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing change. After the second day I saw nothing change. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb"". The crowd st…

When Canada became independent, a committee was made to name the new country. The three men included disagreed on all names brought up so far. Finally, they all decided to just say one letter that they could use to add together to make a name they all agreed on. The first guy said ""C, eh?"" The second guys went ""N, eh?"" The last guy goes ""D, eh?"" And that's how we got the name Canada.