I said I was sorry three times looking in the mirror and now I'm in Canada#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Canada day isn't about cheap jokes, you guys. You're forgetting what the holiday is all aboot.#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
The city I live in has the highest rate of stalkings in Canada. I told a girl at the grocery store this. Then I told her at the gym.#Canada0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Since Canada isn't making the penny anymore-did the price of a thought just go up to a nickel?#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
SPECIAL COLUMBUS DAY SALE: For $300 you can drive one of our vans into Canada and claim you discovered it.#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I was gonna make a run for the border, but I remembered I'm in Canada so nah#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
The east coast is experiencing a "Snowpocalypse" or as Canada calls it "Monday"#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Earlier I joked that Toronto was the capital of Canada. "Joked" being the operative word. Everyone knows only real countries have capitals.#Toronto#Canada0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Sarah Palin admitted she used to get health care in Canada & Glenn Beck admitted he used to get his human baby sacrifices from Canada.#Sarah Palin#Beck#Canada#Canada And Glenn+1 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I have to be honest, before the Winter Olympics I just thought Canada was a place Michael Moore made up.#Michael Moore#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
All I'm saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we're all french toast.#Aunt Jemimium#Canada0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Okay Canada. You've made your point. Will you take winter back now? Please?#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I'm glad Canada won. Beating them in hockey would like telling Yo-Yo Ma that the cello sucks. He's a nice dude, let him be into the cello.#Canada0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
USA: "Hey, Canada, can you hold this for a second?" Canada: "OK." *USA hands Detroit to Canada* *USA quickly walks away.*#Canada#USA#Detroit#Canada Usa0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Got busted for shoplifting once in Canada and had to deal with their whole irritating Good Cop/Great Cop routine.#Canada#Police#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.#Canada#Driving#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
looks like our killer left his calling card. 5 cents/min to canada, 7c/min to puerto rico. he knows what he's doing.#Canada#Puerto Rico#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
So, Noah found two polar bears in the Mideast? And after the flood, he took them back to Canada? That sounds plausible. #GodScience#Noah#Canada0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Me: So if I call Canada it's billed as international? Phone rep: Yes. Cuz Canada is a country. Me: You should hear how ridiculous you sound.#Rep#Canada#Technology0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I live in Canada. So, free health care.#Canada#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Here in Canada, we leave everything unlocked so that burglars don't risk getting glass in their hand when they punch through our windows.#Canada0🔗 ShareWhatsApp