America Jokes

There is an American, a German, and a Mexican. They are in all in a boat. The boat is about to sink. Each of them have to throw things out to make the boat lighter. The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says, ""We have a lot of bear in Germany so we don't need these!"" The Mexican throws out 5 cases of burritos and says, ""We have a lot of burritos in Mexico so we don't need these!"" The American grabs the Mexican and throws him out. The German asks why he threw the Mexican out. And the Amer…

Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

Donald Trump was asked about the FDA's recent discovery that most parmesan cheese sold in america has high levels of cellulose... He says that if elected president one of the first things he'll do is ban all forms of powdered cheese, because this would make America grate again.

TIL that the FDA has recommended a permanent ban on all shredded cheeses be put in place immediately. It's part of an official federal plan to make America grate again.

A Chinese man immigrated to America He moves into an apartment, and after all of the stress of moving he doesn't feel like cooking. He heads down to his local sandwich shop and decides to order a meatball sub, a fountain drink, and a salad. When the guy receives his order, he says to the clerk ""Oh, I would like some blue cheese."" The clerk responds ""Sorry sir, this is Quizno's not Bruchi's""

What was the anti-aging makeup company's slogan? Make America 8 again

Donald Trump will make America Great Again... ... he's already grating on me!

Donald Trump's Executive Plan for the next 4 years. 1. Make America Great Again 2. ? 3. Profit

Goats Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. ""These,"" she explained, ""are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce."" She then asked, ""What do you do in America with your old goats?"" A spry old gentleman answered, ""They send us on bus tour…

I found this joke on the news when I went to America... His name is Donald Trump.

I was watching Trump the other day with my dad. He put his hand on my shoulder and said ""Son, once in every generation a man comes to the fore who stands up for his fellow citizens against the foreign lunatics of this world. Get the gun, we're going to America.""

In America saying you're the bomb is a compliment but... In Afghanistan it's a question.

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump are on a ship when a rogue wave causes it to capsize. Who survives? America

If Trump wins the presidency, what will be his reelection slogan in 2020? Make America decent again.

Hillary Clinton and Nickelback are on a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America

Matthew McConaughey for president 2016: Make America Alright Alright Alright Again!

About Donald Trump Just wanted to talk about Donald Trump Of course lots of you hate him, other might like him. He says he'll make america great again, what does that mean great again? America has always been great! I went there 2 years ago, it was one of the greatest country ever Not to say that it doesn't have flaws but who are we kidding? They live in heaven compared to other third world countries Can we make something greater when it is already great? I don't know Each and everyone of us has…

I am 99% sure USA's Student's t is 2.576. Because America got an infinite degree of freedom.

A Frenchman comes to America and says ""Hi, I'm from France"" to an American, The American says ""European!"" to which the frenchman replies ""No, you're a peon!""

Donald Trump can prove he's not a misogynist by banning ""Just For Men"" And Make America Gray Again.

Trump wants to make America great again, Hilary wants to make America whole again. Together, they can make America a great hole.

Everyone is making jokes about how britain should take back the colonies I don't think Britain wants us anymore. America is like the crack addicted son that stole his moms boat and sailed off into the sunset whispering sweet nothings into the ear of a goat

For everyone that works in a restaurant, or uses shredded cheese, Don't vote for trump! He wants to make America grate again!

Trump Drops out of the race, and makes America great again.

Vladimir Putin met Bashar al-Assad One day Vladimir Putin met Bashar al-Assad. The conversation turned to America. Assad: Hey Vlad, what's the difference between America and a carton of yogurt? Putin: I don't know, what? Assad: If you leave a carton of yogurt alone for 200 years, it'll grow a culture.