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God save the world from America! Trump's first day at the Oval Office. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. It is Modi in India and not Manmohan. Trump

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For an upcoming Avengers movie, this is what I want: For one of the Avengers movies, I want the team to face against a cosmic threat made of godly Tailors and Seamstresses, weaving a tangled web of rampant destruction across the galaxies until they make it to Earth. When they enter the Earth's atmosphere in a giant spaceship, cylindrical and metallic, I want Captain America to look up at the bell-like space vessel and as his team of heroes gather behind him in the shadow of the tubular, descendi

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A reporter asked Donald Trump ""What is your greatest weakness?"" ""You see that is the problem with america. They always ask me what is America's weakness? Believe me, I will make america not weak again. I will make america great. Believe me. We dont have to think about weakness. China is weak. Mexico is weak. But we are not weak, we are strong. Trust me. Im not a politician. Politicians are liars. Im not a liar. You see america is weak right now because these politicians make america weak. But

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Donald Trump, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Pope Francis and a Boy Scout are all on a plane that is about to crash... They quickly realize there are only four parachutes and one of them is going to die. Barack Obama says ""I am the leader of the free world and commander in chief. I also have two daughters that need me. I must survive!"" He takes a parachute and he jumps out of the plane. Donald Trump says ""I am richest man in the world. I have a multi-billion dollar company and many jobs depen

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An Irishman moves to America. One Saturday, he goes to a local bar in his town. He sits down at the counter and orders three beers. The bartender brings him his three beers, which the Irishman then proceeds to sip one, then the other, and then the third, until they are all finished. He then pays his fare and cheerfully goes on his way. The Irishman comes back to the bar for the next few Saturdays, ordering three beers and sipping them in the same fashion. One Saturday, before bringing him his be

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Another best farting joke i've EVER heard.. There was a Mexican, a American and a Japanese pilot. They were taking turns flying over each of ther countries so they were flying over Kapan and the Japanese guy drops an apple on his country and the other two ask why he did that and he said ""Because I love my country!"" So they went on to Mexico and the Mexican drops an orange on his country so the other two asked why he did that and he said ""Because I love my country"" So they went on to America

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