Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now.

Only in America would they name a state after a bucket of fried chicken.

Yeah, America is the so called "land of the free", but you try to bring a monkey on board the plane and suddenly everyone's all about rules.

Theme 2: Polish --Q: How do you get a one-armed Pole out of a tree? --A: Wave to him. Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A: A new last name. --Q: Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days? --A: He was scheduled to take a urine test. A 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland. Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies. --Two Poles emigrated to America. On their first day off the boat in New York City, they spied a hot dog vendor in the st…