What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? America can't milk a cow for 15 years.

Why did the chicken cross the road? .... because Bernie Sanders challenged him to a debate about the future of America.

Only in America... Can you shoot up a whole church and still be hated less than someone who shot a lion.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.