Theme 2: Polish --Q: How do you get a one-armed Pole out of a tree? --A: Wave to him. Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A: A new last name. --Q: Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days? --A: He was scheduled to take a urine test. A 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland. Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies. --Two Poles emigrated to America. On their first day off the boat in New York City, they spied a hot dog vendor in the street. ""Did you know they eat dogs in America?"" one asked the other. ""I did not know that."" ""Well, If we're going to live here, we might as well learn to eat like Americans."" So they each bought a hot dog wrapped up in wax paper and sat down to eat them on a nearby park bench. One Pole looked inside his wax paper, then over at the other Pole and asked, ""What part did you get?"" A Polish man wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Pole to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Pole understood and was ready. The time came to have the Pole jump from the plane. The instructor reminded the Pole that he would be right behind him. The Pole proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Pole. The Pole seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, ""So you wanna race, eh?"" --These two Polish men rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, ""We'll have to come back here tomorrow!"" The other asks, ""But how will we remember where this spot is?"" The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, ""We'll just look for this X tomorrow."" The other guy says, ""You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"" Q: Did you hear about the Pole who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of ""Polish Remover"". --Q: How many Poles does it take to kidnap a child? --A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter. [Theme 1](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/qvksq/i_will_be_doing_some_themed_jokes_from_now_on/)