Washington Jokes

A robot bartender A guy goes into a bar in Washington where there is a robot bartender.

General Washington and his men are trekking through the forest after a long fight with the British It is frigid out and there is a snow storm raging. They begin looking for shelter

Congress has been kidnapped... A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington

Two Arabs boarded a flight from Washington to New York... One sat in the window seat

Forget Washington Lincoln

All of Congress is kidnapped A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington

A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.

How much does freedom weigh? A WashingTon.

What do the Washington Metro system and the Little Mermaid have in common? They're both under DC.

ISIS takes Congress hostage A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington

Donations A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington

Congress gets kidnapped A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington

Vladmir Putin learns from Obama On his official visit to Washington

What's the difference between Walk of Life and Washington state?,"One's by Dire Straits the other's by dryer states.

Why doesn't Connecticut have a name for it people?,"What I mean is that people from NY are New Yorkers, people from California are Californian and coincidentally people from Colorado and Washington are Potheads.

Did you hear about the earthquake? There was a fault in Washington. It was Obama's!

What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death.

What's white, located in washington and has a president within it? Monica Lewinsky's teeth.

Why doesn't Connecticut have a name for it people? What I mean is that people from NY are New Yorkers, people from California are Californian, and coincidentally people from Colorado and Washington are Potheads.

Do you know why George Washington 's father forgive him? Because Washington still holding the axe

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington? There were no jokes in the Post.

A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, DC. The guide pointed out the spot where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River. "That's impossible!" said the tourist. "No one could throw a dollar that far." "You have to remember," replied the guide, "that a dollar went a lot further in those days." Two guys were sitting in a bar, talking about their summer vacations. The first said: "My wife was so excited about going to the Grand Canyon, but when she eventua…

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said: "Let's talk. I've heard that journeys seem shorter if you strike up a conversation with the person next to you." The little girl said: "Okay. What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said Obama. "What about the changes I should make to America?" "Yeah, that would be an interesting topic," she agreed. "But first let me ask you a question. A horse, a cow and a deer all ea…

Laura Bush said to Dubya: "We have the weekend free, darling. What would you like to do?" "Well now," he said. "Let's think . . ." "No," said Laura. "Let's do something you can do, too." Bush said he is leaving Washington with his head held high, because it is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you. Jay Leno

Two days before Christmas, Jim was flying from London's Heathrow Airport to Washington, DC, to visit his wife, who worked in the United States. He arrived at Heathrow to find the entire terminal decked in green and red, complete with tacky elves, Santas, reindeer, snowmen and Christmas trees wherever he looked. Meanwhile, between announcements of flight delays and cancellations, the loudspeakers blared out tinny renditions of Christmas carols. As he checked-in his luggage, having queued for the …