Patty Jokes

Give the frog a loan. A frog hops into a bank and approaches the teller, ""Please, ma'am,"" he says. ""I need to take out a loan so I can feed my family."" ""Do you have any sort of photo-ID?"" The teller asks. ""No,"" the frog replies. ""But I do have this!"" The frog pulls out a small golden elephant. The teller looks at the elephant, ""I'm sorry but without proper photo identification I cannot give you a loan."" ""Please! My family is hungry and we really need the money!"" The frog looks at t…

The Congress Man And The Little Girl [The Congressman and the Little Girl](http://www.1976ad.com/2011/09/11/the-congress-man-and-the-little-girl/) A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, ""Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."" The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, ""What would you want to talk about?"" ""Oh, I don't know…

The butcher is introducing his wife to some friends... so he says ""Meet Patty!""

Let's converse. A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, ""Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."" Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, ""What would you like to discuss?"" ""Oh, I don't know,"" said the stranger. ""How about nuclear power?"" ""OK,"" said Little Johnny. ""That could be an interesting t…

What did the cheeseburger name her daughter? Patty.

A frog goes into a bank... A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."" Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, ""Sure. I have this,"" and produces …

A man was out of work... A man was out of work, and he was combing through the want ads. He saw that a school was looking for a bus driver, so he called and was asked to come for an interview. He got the job, and was surprised when he went out and found that the bus was garishly painted with Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, and Elmo. Still, a job's a job, he thought. As he went about his route, he stopped and picked up twin girls. These girls were rather portly, and as they entered the bus the first …

What do you call a woman made out of beef? Patty

Patty the Irishman was drinking at his favorite watering hole... When George the bartender looked up, ""Patty it's closing time, get yer ass home Elaine is going to have your head!"" ""Oh I know, I know."" Patty got up, and immediately fell down. He crawled to the door, pulled himself up on the handle and fell through the door to the sidewalk outside. He made it to a parking meter and pulled himself up again, the whole way home Patty kept falling and getting back up. He finally made it home, he …

A Frog Went to a Bank A frog wanted a bigger lily pad so he went to the bank to get a loan. He brought with him little statues of famous frogs throughout history (Kermit, Hypnotoad, etc.) that he had made. He stepped to the first open teller, whose name was Patty Black. ""I want a bigger lily pad and I need a loan to make that happen,"" said the frog. ""Do you have any collateral?"" ""I have these statues that I made by hand."" ""Hmm, I don't know,"" said Patty. ""I'm going to have to check with…

Let's Talk A stranger was seated next to Ken on an empty flight to England. The stranger turned to Ken and said, ""Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers."" Ken, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, ""Okay, what would you like to talk about?"" ""I don't know,"" said the stranger. ""How about nuclear power?"" ""Okay,"" said Ken. ""That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a q…

Patty and Mike immigrate to the United States with a bottle of whiskey. Two Irishmen, Paddy and Mike, immigrated to the United States with only the clothes on their backs and a 12 year old bottle of fine Irish Whiskey. They agreed to never touch the bottle until both had found their fortune, and they would share that bottle to celebrate. They both went on to amass fortunes, but they never seemed to find the time to get together and drink that bottle. One day, Mike gets a call from Paddy's wife, …

How does the butcher introduce his wife? Meat Patty. (This was told to me by an old man I cut off with my grocery cart at the grocery store).

On their 30th anniversary Patty turns to Mary, tears in his eyes, and says Mary, you've added so much texture to my life... it's been rough.

What did one beef patty say to the other beef patty? Will you be my grill friend?

Frank's Girlfriend Frankfurter walks into his favorite bar holding a curvy Hamburger by the hand. ""Hi guys,"" he says. ""Meet my girlfriend, Patty.""

A few dad jokes a customer told me. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meet Patty.

A frog wants a loan from the bank A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name plate says Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation."" Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. ""Kermit Jagger. My father is Mick Jagger. It will be fine to authorize the loan, I know your manager."" Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. ""Sure, how about this,"" said Kermit as he produces a tiny porcelain elep…

A frog goes into a bank... and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday"". Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that its ok, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, ""sure I have this"", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, a…

A frog goes to the bank to get a loan He then sits with the loan officer named Patty Wack. The frog then explains that he needs to get a loan to start his own business. Patty looks the frog over and says, ""We don't give loans to just anyone that walks in here, tell me about yourself. Also, you need collateral to get a loan this large, what do you have to offer?"" The frog thinks for a moment and says, ""Well my father is Mick Jagger. And as for collateral I have this!"" He then puts a small gol…

A man was killed in a rice field by a small porcelain doll.... It was the very first knick-knack, patty whack

Never mess with blonds Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. ""You know,"" he says, ""I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."" The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, ""What would you like to discuss?"" ""Oh, I don't know,"" says the guy, smiling. ""How about nuclear power?"" ""OK,"" says the blonde. ""Th…

Kermit the frog walks into a bank... ...and walks up to the teller. Reading her name tag he greets her. ""Hello Patty I would like to take out a loan."" ""Uhh you cant take out a loan!?"" ""Well why not?"" ""We don't give frogs loans."" ""But my dad is Mick Jagger!"" ""That doesn't matter, we just don't give frogs loans."" ""I have collateral though."" ""You have collateral?"" Kermit reaches into his jacket pocket,pulls out a small elephant figurine, and hands it to Patty. Annoyed and slightly f…

An Atheist and a Little Girl on a Plane An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, ""Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."" The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, ""What would you want to talk about?"" "" Oh, I don't know,"" said the atheist. ""How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?"" as he smiled smugl…

Taco bell, now new! with 18.5% real beef!!! (canner grade) Contains hoofs, horns, fat, ligaments, hair, bison patty (shit, bison shit, less than 2% of: rocks, cow shit, cow hide) and high fructose corn syrup. made in china WELCOME TO USA