Taco Bell Jokes

Date: "I don't like Taco Bell." *Pushes her in front of a bus.*

COP: u were swerving a lot so i have to conduct a sobriety test ME: ok COP: lets get taco bell ME: no COP: text ur ex ME: no COP: ok ur good

If I was a gay dude, I'd be all like "Not tonight, I had Taco Bell for lunch."

[2006] *creates anonymous username online and never reveals personal information* [2016] *tweets Taco Bell my credit card number & address*

[in ambulance after being shot] can we [coughs blood] stop at Taco Bell? "Don't be stupid! [turns around while driving] of course we can"

Taco Bell wouldn't be so popular if indoor plumbing didn't exist

If you are going to Taco Bell for a diet, you have a bigger problem than your weight.

My autobiography would just be a really long Taco Bell receipt.

I know Taco Bell doesn't have "I hate myself" sauce yet. But they should. They should.

It's called Taco Bell because Alexander Graham Bell also invented the taco.

I just saved $30 on Taco Bell by telling a friend I don't have my wallet

Based on how poorly this burrito was wrapped, I assume it was made by the one person at Taco Bell that has never rolled a blunt.

Taco Bell is serving breakfast now. Because why wait until afternoon when you can get diarrhea first thing in the morning!TM

I gave my keys to the Taco Bell valet when I showed up and now he's nowhere to be seen.

That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children's hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?

Taco Bell is human Drano

[pulls into taco bell drive thru] Hi, I'd like enough tacos to forget 2016

Do you like Taco Bell? Then you'll LOVE real food!

I have an ungodly amount of Taco Bell hot sauce packets for being a grown woman who's nutritionally responsible for two children.

We don't have Taco Bell in South Africa because this country's been through too much already.

After all this Starbucks cup controversy, if Taco Bell was smart, they'd start serving their burritos in little cardboard mangers

Taco Bell is planning on doubling the 'meat' in their ingredients. Unlike Cadbury, they're informing us in advance.

*On my Deathbed* Me: Tell Tac.. *cough* Wife: What sweetie? Tell who what?! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

If you mix Taco Bell hot sauce into your ramen, it tastes exactly like poverty.

[flirting at Taco Bell] Trouble opening that sauce packet? Let me help. [seconds later] Let me help you get that sauce out of your hair.