Taco Bell Jokes

[nervously speeding up as I drive my date past a Taco Bell] SIRI: At frequent destination. Set this address as 'Home' address?

Taco Bell manager: I'm sorry, you didn't get the job. It's your drug test Me: so you mean... Manager: yes, you passed. Get high & re-apply

Oppenheimer at the A-Bomb test saying "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds" only me exiting the bathroom after eating Taco Bell.

You could put me in any city, and I could find a Taco Bell or Chipotle within minutes. My burridar is accurate to about 10 meters.

Saw a homeless guy at McDonald's begging for money, told him I'd buy him something to eat. He said no thanks, getting money for Taco Bell.

If I were Lex Luther, I'd just send Superman a bunch of gift certificates to Taco Bell and let him do my work for me.

There's a guy in this Taco Bell bathroom stall so loud I'm not sure if it's performance art or a solstice goat sacrifice.

Gross fact: Taco Bell burritos contain less than 10% real bell

Had a big lunch at Taco Bell. Off to the woods to prove a point.

I think more research needs to be done on the tube inside your body that carries Taco Bell food directly from your mouth to your butthole.

I'm not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn't looking, I can turn water into Sprite.

"Oh I'll be your relationship status alright..." -me sleeping outside this Taco Bell

I had Taco Bell for lunch AND dinner. So yes. I've given up on life.

moron: "duhh, i hate taco bell, every time i go there i get diarrhea" me: try getting tacos instead, genius

A lady just walked into Taco Bell, dumped every hot sauce packet in her bag and left. I should follow her. What's the rest of her day like?

"...and then she farted and I swear her butt plug shot across the room like a rocket! That's the last time we have Taco Bell."

Someday I will disappoint a burglar with my one drawer of Taco Bell mild sauce packets.

I go to Taco Bell and throw in random adjectives to see if they notice. "I'll have the Cheesy Double Sweaty Burrito."

Burping up Taco Bell is like returning to the scene of the crime

In case you were wondering, Taco Bell offers free wi-fi. Don't bother asking for the password, because it's totally "Cornhole Explosion".

At this point you can get more Gas for your $5 bill at a Taco Bell than you can at a Shell Station

I'm sick of hearing about this World Class chef at Taco Bell. Chefs don't work at Taco Bell. Your weed dealer works at Taco Bell.

Him: Going to Taco Bell, want anything? Me: I'm just thirsty Him: What do you want? Me: Six tacos and a burrito

My Bestie just got banned from Taco Bell. I cannot wait to hear this story. I have given table dances at Taco Bell and not got kicked out.

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea