Date: "I don't like Taco Bell." *Pushes her in front of a bus.*

If I was a gay dude, I'd be all like "Not tonight, I had Taco Bell for lunch."

COP: u were swerving a lot so i have to conduct a sobriety test ME: ok COP: lets get taco bell ME: no COP: text ur ex ME: no COP: ok ur good

[in ambulance after being shot] can we [coughs blood] stop at Taco Bell? "Don't be stupid! [turns around while driving] of course we can"