The butcher is introducing his wife to some friends... so he says ""Meet Patty!""

Patty the Irishman was drinking at his favorite watering hole... When George the bartender looked up, ""Patty it's closing time, get yer ass home Elaine is going to have your head!"" ""Oh I know, I know."" Patty got up, and immediately fell down. He crawled to the door, pulled himself up on the handle and fell through the door to the sidewalk outside. He made it to a parking meter and pulled himself up again, the whole way home Patty kept falling and getting back up. He finally made it home, he …

Patty and Mike immigrate to the United States with a bottle of whiskey. Two Irishmen, Paddy and Mike, immigrated to the United States with only the clothes on their backs and a 12 year old bottle of fine Irish Whiskey. They agreed to never touch the bottle until both had found their fortune, and they would share that bottle to celebrate. They both went on to amass fortunes, but they never seemed to find the time to get together and drink that bottle. One day, Mike gets a call from Paddy's wife, …

How does the butcher introduce his wife? Meat Patty. (This was told to me by an old man I cut off with my grocery cart at the grocery store).