Patty Jokes

An Irish Catholic priest goes on a pilgrimage In a small village in Ireland, the priest from the local church was called upon to make a pilgrimage to the Vatican. As he was saying goodbye to his constituents, he was greeted by Patty and Maggie, the town's newest young couple. ""Please father,"" said Maggie, ""we've been having a bit of trouble having some children lately. We were wondering if, when you go on your pilgrimage, you wouldn't mind lighting a candle for us at St. Peter's Basilica, in …

Kermit Jagger A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."" Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, ""Sure. I have this,"" and produces a tiny porcelain el…

So a frog walks into a bank... So a frog walks into this bank to apply for a bank loan. He approaches the tell and notices her name tag says Patricia Whack. He walks up to her and says, ""Miss Whack I'm here to apply for a bank loan. I need $30,000 to go on my dream vacation."" Patty is a little thrown off by this unusual request and replys, ""We usually don't give out loans that large of an amount. Especially for a dream vacation. I can help you out with some smaller loans such as our $10,000 s…

A Frog walks into a bank at 4:45 and goes over to Patricia Black the loan officer. Frog says "" Hey Patty I need a loan"". Patty says ""You will need some kind of collateral"". Frog reaches in and pulls out something from his pocket and shows it to Ms. Black. Patty looks at it and says ""I don't know what that is, I will have to see if the old man upstairs will come and look at this, it is getting late and he will want to leave soon"". Old man comes down, Ms. Black shows him the frog's collatera…

Man walks into a McDonalds. Cashier: ""Hello welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?"" Man: ""Hi, let me get a Bigmac value meal. Burn the lettuce, burn the onions, burn the ketchup, burn the fries... hell, burn the soda- but remember to fill up the cup to the brim with ice so that it takes up half the volume. Burn everything except the patty; I want that to be ice cold. Make one of the buns smaller than the other, and significantly misplaced so that half of it is hanging off the sandwich w…

So a frog walks into a bank and hops up on the counter and much to the surprise of the teller, Patty, the frog speaks and says ""Good morning Miss Whack, I would like a 10,000 dollar loan to take a vacation and get away"". Obviously surprised by the talking frog she stumbles out ""Well I'd be happy to process the loan request for you, but do you have an account with us? What name would it be under?"" ""Well I don't have an account per say..."" he replies. ""But I know the manager. Tell him Kermi…

Don't Mess with Kids An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, ""Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."" The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, ""What would you want to talk about?"" ""Oh, I don't know,"" said the atheist. ""How about why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell , or no life after death?"" as he smiled smugly. ""OK,"" she said…

So a frog walks into a bank . . . The frog walks up to Ms. Whack, the loan officer and sits down. ""What can I do for you?"" She asks. ""I would like a loan, please."" The loan officer tells him the terms then explain that typically the bank requires some sort of collateral to make a loan. The frog reaches into his satchel and pulls out a ceramic . . . thing, and drops it on her desk. She looks at it, then back at him, with a puzzled look on her face. ""Will you excuse me for a moment, Mr. Frog?…

What do you call ... with no arms or legs These are some of my mothers favorite jokes What do you call two men with no arms or legs hanging in front of a window? Curt an' Rod! What do you call a man and a woman on a grill with no arms or legs? Frank and Patty! What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat? Skip! What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the water? Bob

A Frog goes into a bank to get a loan He approaches the woman at the loan application desk and notes that her name tag reads: Patty Whack. The Frog says, ""Excuse me, I'd like to apply for a loan."" The woman, very surprised that a talking frog was in her bank immediately refuses, saying, ""We only work with humans, no animals can get loans here....besides, you don't have any collateral."" The Frog hurriedly pulls a little troll doll out of his pocket. ""Yes I do! Take my Troll. She means the wo…

Patty Wak, the Bank Teller A frog walks into his local bank. After a quick glace around the place, he walks up to the nearest teller. He reads her name plate. ""Well, g'day there, Ms. Wak. I'm here today to apply for a loan, for $10,000."" Patty Wak, a little taken aback, stares blankly at the frog for just a moment. Then she recovers. ""Alright sir, let's get started. May I have your name?"" ""Jagger,"" replies the frog, ""Rick Jagger."" ""Ok, Mr. Jagger,"" Patty Wak says as she types into her …

A frog went to the bank to take out a mortgage. He sat down with Patty Mack the banker, and began the negotiations. His credit score wasn't bad, but when it came to the subject of collateral, he was a little unsure. Collectables and other odds and ends were all he had to offer. Patty was not convinced. No car? No property? Little credit? ""Times are rough..."" she started to say, when her manager stepped up to her desk, and asked what the problem was. She handed him his paperwork, and after a fe…

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller He can tell from her name-plate her name is Patricia Whack. 'Ms. Whack I'd love to get $30,000 to take a holiday.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief, and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that its okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with collateral. The frog says 'sure I have this,' and he produces a tiny porcelain elephant about an inch tall, br…

Patty O'Mally So Patty O'Mally is running late to an extremely important meeting in downtown Dublin. He has been driving around and around for blocks and can not find a parking space. He is feeling panicky and anxious. Finally in desperation, he cries out to the Lord in Heaven, ""Dear God! Please help me find a parking space so I can getto this meeting on time, please please help me! If you help me, I will do anything, in fact I promise to always go to church every Sunday and I swear to quit dri…

Patty and Billy... ...drink whiskey together on a regular basis and become the closest of friends. They make a vow that the one who outlives the other will open a bottle of the finest whiskey and pour on the grave site of the other on the day of the funeral. Sadly, Patty dies and Billy is left to proceed with the ritual after everyone leaves the cemetery. As he stands over the grave, deeply sobbing and weeping, he opens the bottle, and tilts it slightly, but stops short of pouring out the liquid…

How did the butcher introduce his wife? He said ""Meet Patty""

A frog walks into a bank... to get a loan. He waits in line and when the teller calls him he walks up to do his thing. ""Hi, I'm Patty Black, what can I do for you today?"" she asks. He replies, ""I'm here to get a loan."" ""Well what do you have for collateral?"" ""All I have is this antique bronze statuette that I keep on my mantel,"" he tells her. She is unsure about what she can do since it seems like a pretty worthless trinket. ""Let me bring that statuette to my manager and see if we can't…

Intelligent Blonde Joke A guy gets on a plane, and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He turns to her and makes his move. He says, ""You know, I heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger...so let's talk."" The blonde asks ""Okay, what would you like to discuss?"" ""Oh, I dunno,"" says the guy. ""How about nuclear physics?"" ""Okay,"" says the blonde. ""That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you this-- a horse, a cow, and a deer …

Did you hear that a mob boss was killed... Did you hear that a mob boss was killed in a rice field by assailants wielding small figurines? Police are saying it's the first recorded instance of a knick knack patty whack.

My butcher introduced me to his wife the other day... He brought her out and said, ""meet patty""

When I bite into a York peppermint patty,, I get the sensation,,,,,, That I should have bought a Reese's peanut butter cup...

How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meat patty! Thought of you guys!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. ""Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."" Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, ""Sure . I have this,"" and produces a tiny porcelain elephant,…

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?' 'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles. 'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a questi…

A man walks into a 50's style diner and orders a hamburger. A few minutes later the waitress brings his food to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, ""Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"" So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his horror, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, ""That's disgusting!"" Then t…