Man goes to his son and asks 'Did you tip over the outhouse'? Son says, 'Father, I cannot tell a lie: I tipped over the outhouse into the creek'. Father says 'That's it, you're going to the woodshed for some serious ass-whuppin!' 'But Father, George Washington told his dad the truth about chopping down the cherry tree and didn't get punished!' 'George Washington's father wasn't IN the cherry tree!'

[talking to bouncer] Me:let me in Bouncer: not after last time Me:would a Washington convince you? Bouncer: no George Washington: c'mon man

Classic from Middle School George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman are riding together on an airplane. They get to talking about how they want to be remembered. Lincoln says ""I'd like to help the poor, so I'll throw a penny with my face on it so they'll know who helped them."" He throws a penny out the plane window. Washington then says ""I, too, want to help the poor, but I want to give more, so I'll throw a quarter with my face on it so they'll know who helped them."" Truman fina…

The Trump family is flying from New York to Washington Donald looks down on the cities below and says ""I think I'll throw a $100 bill out the window and make some American happy."" Melania says ""Oh honey, why not throw ten $10 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"" So then Ivanka says, ""Even better Daddy, throw 100 one dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy? To which the pilot says ""Why don't you all jump out the window and make the whole damn country happy?""