Grand Canyon Jokes

Her: Your c**k is small Me: An RV is big until you park it in the Grand Canyon.

Kate Gosselin got rejected by Playboy. When your hoo-ha could be mistaken for the Grand Canyon, you might want to try National Geographic.

When I die I want my remains poured out of an airplane over the Grand Canyon. But don't cremate me. Just dump my body on some tourists.

Can we still see the Grand Canyon from the air or has the government put a giant tarp over it?

Marathon runner: I think we're lost. Why does that sign say Grand Canyon? Are you sure this is the right way? Lemming: Just trust me, ok?

I don't drink water anymore, not after what it did to the Grand Canyon

Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Hearing now that the government closed the Grand Canyon. Not sure if they roll a tarp over it or how that works.

The secret to a long marriage A reporter was doing a human interest story for a local newspaper, and was interviewing an elderly couple celebrating sixty years of marriage. The obvious question the reporter posed was ""What's the secret to a long marriage?"" ""Oh,"" the man started. ""It's all about perseverance. On our honeymoon, we went to the Grand Canyon and rode on mules down the trail. Well, my new wife's mule bucked her off, and she fell on the ground. She just yelled, 'That's ONE!' and g…

How was the Grand Canyon formed? A jew lost a penny there.

My new wife is afraid of heights We were going on our honeymoon and she says ""I want to see the Grand Canyon, but we can't fly because I'm afraid of heights."" I replied, ""I won't go to the Grand Canyon - I'm afraid of depths.""

I'm going to the Kentucky men's basketball game vs Grand Canyon tonight I'm pretty worried, I hear Grand Canyon's really deep.

""We got plenty of those where I come from."" NSFW So... an American, Russian, and a Mexican are sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon just hanging out as they so often do. After a while the Mexican pulls out a huge joint and sparks it up. He proceeds to smoke only half of it and tosses the rest into the canyon. The Russian says ""Hey man, why didn't you share any of that?"" to which the Mexican replies ""Don't worry, we got plenty of those where I come from."" Some time passes and the Russian…

Overheard this at Grand Canyon. ""Why do they put chicken wire around these plants? Other guy:"" To protect the chicken plants""

Chuck Norris once went skydiving without a parachute, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Signs Your Pastor Needs A Vacation His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are ""All right, listen up you heathens..."" He falls asleep during his own sermon. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top. Every time his pager goes off, he shouts, ""Why can't they just leave me alone?!"" Announces baptismal services will be at the Grand Canyon. You go to his office for counseling and pour your heart out to him and he says, ""Sounds like a personal problem to …

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them and said ""I'm sorry gentlemen but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be."" ""Great!"" said the first guy ""I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!"" ""No problem"" replied St. Peter and POOF! The guy was gone. ""And what do you want to be"" St. Peter asked the other guy. ""I'd like to be one cool stud!"" was the reply. ""Easy"" replied St. Peter and the ot…

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. ""When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon his face dropped a mile"" she said. ""Why was he disappointed with the view?"" ""No he fell over the edge.""

I sometimes ponder the etymology of the names of geographic features. For example, I understand why the Grand Canyon has its name. However, I can't fathom what Carl might have done in those caverns that's so bad.

Honeymoon A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon on a pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘that's once.’ We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘…

TIL it's possible to jump without a parachute from the top of the Grand Canyon all the way to the bottom. But not twice.

How was the Grand Canyon created? A Jew lost a penny (incoming angry comments)

True or False? How deep is the Grand Canyon? First post please be considerate but and criticism is welcome

A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, DC. The guide pointed out the spot where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River. "That's impossible!" said the tourist. "No one could throw a dollar that far." "You have to remember," replied the guide, "that a dollar went a lot further in those days." Two guys were sitting in a bar, talking about their summer vacations. The first said: "My wife was so excited about going to the Grand Canyon, but when she eventua…

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well" explained the husband, "it all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said 'That's …