Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said: "Let's talk. I've heard that journeys seem shorter if you strike up a conversation with the person next to you." The little girl said: "Okay. What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said Obama. "What about the changes I should make to America?" "Yeah, that would be an interesting topic," she agreed. "But first let me ask you a question. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" Surprised by the little girl's intelligence, Obama considered the question for a few seconds before finally admitting: "I'm sorry, I have no idea." The little girl replied: "So do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know shit?" Barack Obama didn't just appeal to black voters who think he'll change society. He also appealed to white voters who think he's Tiger Woods. Frankie Boyle I was at a fundraiser for Barack Obama in Los Angeles and I wanted to have a really smart question to ask him when I met him, so I wandered over and said: 'Senator Obama, when you were a student in Boston, Massachusetts, did you encounter racism in any form?' And his answer was really profound. He said: 'I'm Kanye West.' Sarah Silverman