United States Jokes

I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character And not the President of the United States.

A Muslim enters the United States Oh sorry thought it was still 2016.

I don't want to make a political joke It might get elected as president of the United States

The American people should elect Gabe Newell president in 2020. That way we can be 100% certain the President of the United States will not start World War III.

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the US Capital this Christmas The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital this Christmas season.

So Donald Trump is now the President of the United States I certainly DNC that coming

Worst days in United States history.. .. 9/11 and 11/9

Whata country.. You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores.

United States Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs

What's the biggest city in the United States? Obesity

Canada already has a wall that keeps out the Mexicans... Its called the United States.

A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States Chu

This clown fad is getting out of hand.... They are even running for president of the United States.

Two immigrants Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs

A Chinese went to a temple and asked a monk: ""Who will win the United States presidential election?"" The monk point his finger towards a dog shit... The Chinese was confused and asked the monk: ""Did you mean both of them are shits? Or the shittiest one will win?"

A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a ""Dear John"" letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.

In the United States the colors red white and blue represent freedom. Unless they see it in their rear view mirror.

Mexico was pretty livid when Donald Trump announced his plan to build a wall along the southern border of the United States... ...But once it's erected and complete

Donald Trump wants to ban shredded cheese in the United States. He wants to make America grate again.

Running for president It's the end of the 2016 Presidential race and the United States hated all the candidates so much that nobody voted. The government is in a panic trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be. Finally

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States... Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

Polish man in the US A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl.

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States

So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline.

A Polish man rushes into a lawyer's office... Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl.