Gabe Newell Jokes

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president? Because then World War 3 would never happen

A woman is at the park with her son when he starts misbehaving. She looks at him sternly and says ""If you don't stop before I count to 3, we're going home!"" 1... 2... 2 and a half... 2 and three quarters... 2 and five sevenths... Just then a man taps her on the shoulder and hands her his business card. Hi I work for Gabe Newell, co-founder of Valve, and we're looking for a new Vice President. I think you're just what we're looking for. Call me on Monday and we'll talk.

Gabe Newell should be the World President He will prevent World War 3.

Gabe Newell and Bill Gates should get together. Not only would there be some epic games, they could comfort each other's inability to count.

I wonder be sad when Gabe Newell dies. He'll rise from the dead in three days.

Gabe Newell dies... ...and winds up in purgatory. He meets a man there and asks him how to leave the purgatory and live again. The man says, ""You must descend to the third level of this existance, then and only then will you live again."" Gabe agrees and quickly spots stairs down to the second level. On that second level, he is soon enveloped in a thick blanket of fog. He wanders for years, never finding that staircase down to his freedom. Gabe falls to his knees and screams into the fog. Sudde…

How Gabe Newell counts to 10 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Gabe Newell just died... His hair black

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids? He can't get to 3rd base

Who should we vote for the next president? Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

Why would Gabe Newell be a better world leader than Hitler? There'd be no World War 3.

Gabe Newell! Gabe Newell lived from 1962 until Half-Life 3, confirmed!

I'd rather have Gabe Newell as President than Donald Trump. That way

I don't know if Gabe Newell would be a very good president. But at least there won't be a world war 3.

Gabe Newell should be president That way we'd never have WW3.

The American people should elect Gabe Newell president in 2020. That way we can be 100% certain the President of the United States will not start World War III.

I vote Gabe Newell for president. There will never be a World War 3.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball? Because he can't make 3's

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States? So there won't be a World War III.

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler? A toddler can count past two...

Why should we make Gabe Newell president? There won't be any World War 3. #gaben2k16