Mcdonalds Jokes

Have you heard of McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

What does a pedophile and McDonald's have in common? They both have meat between 7-year-old buns.

What do you call fat people eating McDonalds? Cannibalism

When does Ronald McDonald's baby sleep? The McCrib

What did the old billy bobs eat at McDonald's? McChicken-killer... Yeah I'm really stoned smoked a chicken killer and ate McDonald's

What do Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common? They both put their meat in 9 year old buns.

Why was Kylo Ren embarrassed at McDonald's? It was his First Order!

Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds? He got the shakes instead.

Why did the retarded kid finger his butthole with McDonalds tomato sauce? because he's retarded

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa? Prom

Does your mom work at McDonald's? Cuz i quarter-pounded her last night

As a Jew, am I allowed to eat McDonalds today? Yes, I know it's Yom Kippur. But McDonalds is fast food.

How are America and McDonald's similar? They are both run by red-headed clowns.

WIFE: The car won’t start. Can you pick me up at the drive through McDonald's in town? ME: There isn’t a drive through in town WIFE: There is now

Your Mama's so stupid she ordered her sushi well done! 3893. Your Mama's so stupid she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the "11" button in "9-1-1"! 3894. Your Mama's so stupid she sold the house to pay the mortgage! 3895. Your Mama's so stupid when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around! 3896. Your Mama's so stupid she'd have to be twice as smart to become a half-wit! 3897. Your Mama's so stupid when the judge said "Order in the court," she s…

Your Mama's So Poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway! 3871. Your Mama's So Poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning! 3872. Your Mama's So Poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "Buying luggage."! 3873. Your Mama's so stupid she orders a cheese burger from 'McDonalds' and says "hold the cheese"!

Yo momma is so poor she cursed out the lady at McDonalds because they wouldn't put a small fries and a coke in layaway.

Been In College Too Long... You consider McDonald's "real food." You actually like doing laundry at home. 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends. It starts getting late on the weeknights. Two miles is not too far to walk for a party. You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it. You'd rather clean than study. Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal. Computer Solitaire is more than a game, it's a way of life. You schedule your classes around sleep …

Teacher: “What did the frog order at McDonald's?” Pupil: “French flies and a diet Croak!”

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Signs That You're Broke: At communion you go back for seconds. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank. Long distance companies don't call you to switch. You give blood everyday.. just for the orange juice. McDonald's is the supplier of all your kitchen condiments. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a…

Reaction of men on their weeding anniversaries: 10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking! 9. Today is our what1? 8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together1? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events1? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband! 5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother! 4. Got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for…