K Mart Jokes

Hey guys quick question. Uh I'm in K-Mart right now, which aisle would be the best for me to lie down and die in?

My wife takes 13 bikinis for a 4-day beach trip. Meanwhile, I'm rocking the swimming trunks my mom bought at K-Mart in 1991.

Warning, Shopping at Home Depot! A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. T…

Why does Michael Jackson shop at k-mart. Because little boys pants are half-off. Sorry I know this joke is too old to be one of his victims and I know it is bad taste to make fun of the dead. RIP K-Mart you will be missed.

PSA: BE CAREFUL SHOPPING AT HOME DEPOT SHOPPING AT HOME DEPOT A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing yo…

A redneck is sitting in a bar minding his own business. When all of a sudden a large Asian man leans over and knocks him clean off his bar stool and on to the floor. He then tells the redneck, ""That was a karate chop from Korea."" The redneck is mad but he gets up and goes back to drinking. All of a sudden the asian man knocks him over again and says, ""That was a judo chop from Korea."" The redneck is real mad now so he leaves and comes back an hour later. He goes over to the asian man and kno…

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, ""Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"" The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove t…

What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? ""Attention K-Mart shoppers...""

Q: What does K-mart stand for? A: Kuz Mexicans Are Rich Too

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ""If you ever get stuck in a snow storm wait for a snow plow and follow it."" Pretty soon a snow plow came by and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the snow plow got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said ""Well I'm don…

Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said ""What ya doin'?"" She said ""Buying luggage.""

Why does Michael Jackson shop at k-mart. Because little boys pants are half-off.

What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart? Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland lol

Your Mama's So Poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway! 3871. Your Mama's So Poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning! 3872. Your Mama's So Poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "Buying luggage."! 3873. Your Mama's so stupid she orders a cheese burger from 'McDonalds' and says "hold the cheese"!

Yo mamma's so fat, she rents shade! 3761. Yo mamma's so fat, she invented the lowrider! 3762. Yo mamma's so fat, she tripped over K-Mart, stumbled over Wal- Mart and landed on Target! 3763. Yo mamma's so fat, when she puts on high heels in the morning, by the afternoon they're flats. 3764. Yo mamma's so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds. 3765. Yo mamma's so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up!

There once was this blonde riding a horse. After a while it began to speed up. She was hanging on by the tail and cut her forehead open. After a long struggle, she was able to climb back onto the horse. She then fell off the side and got her foot caught. The horse was now dragging her. She finally got back on the horse with a broken ankle, bruises all over, and she was bleeding from three different spots. Finally, the horse came to a complete stop. Thank goodness that the manager of the K-mart c…