Louisiana Jokes

Part of rebuilding New Orleans causes residents to often be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client; You've got to love this lawyer...... A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.…

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: ""Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job."" Bubba asked: ""And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me …

Way down in Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. So he brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said, ""Hey, Boudreaux! You just had you-self a son! Ain't dat grand!"" Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, ""Hold on! We ain't finished yet!"" The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, ""Hey, Boudreaux! You got…

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the ""no haggle"" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, ""Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"" The shopkeeper said, ""By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch you…

I really don't understand why the federal government was so slow to send aid to the areas hit by Hurricane Andrew. After all both Florida and Louisiana have oil.

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter one tourist asked the employee ""Before we order could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"" The girl leaned over the counter and said ""Burrrrrrrr gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing.""

During camouflage training in Louisiana a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. ""You simpleton!"" the officer barked. ""Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"" ""Yes sir"" the solder answered apologetically. ""But if I may say so I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lo…

An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level he ended up shouting ""I don't give two hoots for your shoes man I'll go and kill my own!"" The shopkeeper replied ""By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same. ""So the Ranger went out into the Bayou and after a while saw two men with spears standin…

Insuring the Army Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty. Boudreaux's first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled. The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This …

A Small Collection of US State Jokes **Georgia** The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings." **Louisiana** A senior citizen in Louisiana was…

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there'. . . and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and convey…

Mr. Steve Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer. Unfortunately, he mistyped a letter, and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted.When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."

A blonde women walks into a gift shop in Louisiana... She sees alligator purses, belts and boots. She loves the alligator boots and asks the clerk how much. The clerk tells her they're 500.00 dollars. The blonde is disgusted at the price and tells the clerk she will go get her own, storming out of the store. Later that day the clerk is driving home from work and passes a bayou. He hears several shotgun blasts and sees two dead alligators on the shore with their feet up in the air. After anoth…

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A Louisiana State Trooper walked to her car window and opened his ticket book. The woman said, "I bet you're going to try to sell me a ticket to the Louisiana State Troopers' Ball." The trooper told her, "Ma'am, Louisiana State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. The trooper then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his car and left.

A husband a wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

A Ranger, a Bayou, and a few Marines An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!" The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. M…

Alligator Shoes A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana. She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn't want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging. After becoming very frustrated with the local shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper replied, "Good luck! Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" …

A blonde was on vacation in Louisiana with her boyfriend She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay a fortune for them. So she headed out to the swamp, determined to catch herself an alligator. Her boyfriend stayed at the hotel. Later that day, she stood waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. She heard the unmistakable purr of a full-grown gator, spotted it drifting by and shot it dead! She pulled it out of the water and examined it. "Nope..…

Refinery Engineers Bubba applied for an engineering position at a refinery . A Yankee applied for the same job, and, both applicants having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one question. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job." Bubba said, Why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being …

A blonde and an alligator A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luc…

Robot A guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender.

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes.

An Army Ranger was on vacation... ...in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way

A blonde was on vacation in Louisiana with her boyfriend She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes

An elderly man in Louisiana ... ... had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming